Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Here's to you, Frank Anicetti

Frank Anicetti, legendary proprietor of legacy soft drink Moxie, the hometown hero of Lisbon Falls, Maine, has passed away.  Frank became well-known to Stephen King fans who'd never made the annual trip to the Moxie Festival, in the pages of 11/22/63, which also reminded even those who had just why Kennebec Fruit Company, the actual name of what was colloquially known as the Moxie Store, had "fruit" in its name.  If anyone was an institution in Lisbon Falls, if there was one person you had to visit, it was Frank, who was always happy to tell stories.  He retired last year, and it's not hard to guess that giving up the store took away his purpose in life.  The store is being converted into Frank's Pub, hopefully still on track to open by Moxie Day this year (7/8/17), and I'm guessing there will be even more incentive for devotees to gather and celebration Frank's legacy.
 
But don't let me tell you about Frank, let's listen to Frank himself:
 

 

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Well, damn, I think I just got all the hate for the Star Wars prequels

Before you read much further, you ought to know: I still love the Star Wars prequels.  I still love The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith.  But I think I finally get why they're so easy to hate.

And no, it's not what you think.

So let me explain.  I also love the Pirates of the Caribbean films.  I love Curse of the Black Pearl, Dead Man's Chest, At World's End.  But I don't love On Stranger Tides.  And so there's where we reach my point.  On Stranger Tides is the Star Wars prequels of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.  As in, I don't really understand why its exists.  And the thing is, there's soon going to be another one, Dead Men Tell No Tales.  And I suppose the book's still open on that one.  But still.  The original three tell such a complete story.  The next two don't seem...relevant.  That's what I mean. 

Dead Man's Chest is actually hugely relevant to this analogy.  It's the second of the Pirates movies, and like The Empire Strikes Back (the second of the original Star Wars trilogy), it expands on everything that made the first one good, while doing it so well and in such a way that it makes both easier to love and gives the first further justification by making the experience deeper than it previously seemed to have any right to be. 

And like Return of the Jedi (for some fans, anyway; this is the third film in the original Star Wars trilogy, of course), At World's End finishes out the story, but doesn't quite measure up to its predecessor(s). 

On Stranger Tides focuses almost exclusively on Jack Sparrow, the breakout character of the original Pirates trilogy, just as the Star Wars prequels focuses almost exclusively on Darth Vader (specifically, his origin story).  To my mind, I don't see the point, if Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann aren't there somewhere, too.  Star Wars fans rightly kind of began to view the original trilogy to focus at least as much on Han Solo as any other element, Harrison Ford going on to be one of the biggest stars in Hollywood and all.

So the Star Wars prequels, more or less, whatever their creative merit, probably seemed downright incomprehensible to fans of the original trilogy.  That's what I'm saying.  Incomprehensible, inexplicable, everything they...really didn't want to see.  That's it, really, they rejected these things because they seemed pointless, offensiveness in any number of ways because they didn't conform to what fans loved so much about the originals.

That's On Stranger Tides for me.  Dead Man's Chest, I loved it so much when I first saw it, became one of my all-time favorite movies, period, in and out of the Pirates movies.  I care about the Pirates movies today because of it.  But I'll never have that relationship with On Stranger Tides

I really, really don't get that one.  I just don't see the point.  Clearly much of it was developed to ape as much of the originals as possible, but because it lacked the specific cast that made them so memorable, the specific story, and replaced them with plug-ins that meant...less, I just can't understand the point of taking it seriously.

So that's what I assume Star Wars fans think about the prequels.  Feel free to disagree, but that's my theory. 

Sunday, April 16, 2017

879. Box Office 2016

Here's a rundown of relevant movie box office totals, plus ones I personally cared about:

1. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story ($532 M)
I personally loathed this like the plague, but it gave a lot of other fans what they thought had been missing from Star Wars since about The Empire Strikes Back.

2. Finding Dory ($486 M)
This belated sequel to Finding Nemo was much like Rogue One: a quasi-reboot for a new generation.

3. Captain America: Civil War ($408 M)
The in-all-but-name third Avengers movie was by far the most popular nominal Captain America lead installment.  It does do some nifty stuff with Bucky, admittedly.

4. The Secret Life of Pets ($368 M)
Proof positive that any dumb kids flick can make tons of money these days.

5. The Jungle Book ($364 M)
One of Disney's live action remakes, another sign of the ridiculously conservative mood moviegoers have been in lately.

6. Deadpool ($363 M)
Although of course there are exceptions.  Unless you notice that all those Avengers movies are only a shade or two away from the same kind of superhero irreverence.

7. Zootopia ($341 M)
I have to admit this one looked pretty good in the trailers, but I can't for the life of me, without having seen it, figure out what about it specifically would make it a big hit, except it's a kids movie in an era where kids movies are easy money.

8. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice ($330 M)
As polarized a reaction as you can get, but obviously it still made money.  Enough money, it seems, where there's an equal amount of hate as love for its creative choices.

9. Suicide Squad ($325 M)
See the above.

10. Sing ($270 M)
See?  Kids movies will make money these days with any concept at all. 

11. Moana ($248 M) This one's the most traditional kids movie so far, so of course it earned less.
12. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them ($234 M) The first of the Harry Potter prequels.
13. Doctor Strange ($232 M) Somehow this made less than Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad, but still gets touted as a creative success.  I admit that this baffles me.
14. Hidden Figures ($168 M) The highest grossing drama of the year. 
15. Jason Bourne ($162 M) Matt Damon returns to the franchise after skipping out the last one.
16. Star Trek Beyond ($158 M) The latest reboot film in this franchise pleased fans but underperformed, relatively speaking.  Still made more than any pre-reboot film.
17. X-Men: Apocalypse ($155 M) The end of an era (until Logan).
19. La La Land ($150 M) Here's the second highest grossing drama.  Er, musical.
20. Kung Fu Panda 3 ($143 M) They're on the third in this franchise.  But who even knows there's a franchise here???
21. Ghostbusters ($128 M) The all-female cast kind of backfired.  But that's still a respectable haul.
22. Central Intelligence ($127 M) Kevin Hart helps gives Dwayne Johnson a leading man hit.
24. Sully ($125 M) Tom Hanks hasn't been terribly reliable at the box office for a few years now, so it's always good to see him land another hit.
25. Bad Moms ($113 M) See how female cast comedies can be hits?
26. The Angry Birds Movie ($107 M) I have no idea why there was a movie made several years after it was at all relevant.  How could it take so long to develop a movie about a mobile phone game?
27. Independence Day: Resurgence ($103 M) Then again, waiting twenty years for a sequel turned out to be even more dumb.  Plus, omitting the one thing everyone really loved about the first one (some dude named Will Smith).
28. The Conjuring 2 ($102 M) Kind of the epitome of the ultimately bland if ridiculously lucrative horror era we currently inhabit.
29. Arrival ($100 M) My pick for best movie of the year.
30. Passengers ($100 M) Turns out all the marketing of how cute the stars are together can't really overcome bad word of mouth about how their characters end up in a relationship.
31. Sausage Party ($97 M) We're all officially going to hell.
32. The Magnificent Seven ($93 M) Less than magnificent.
33. Ride Along 2 ($91 M) Slightly less than Eddie Murphy strong, Kevin.
36. The Accountant ($86 M) Ben Affleck (aside from assuming the cowl of Batman) finally notices the success his pal Matt has been having as Jason Bourne.
38. The Purge: Election Year ($79 M) I actually think this is a cool horror concept, and if I were to start watching this series, I'd probably start with this one.
41. The Girl on the Train ($75 M) Like the book before it, really tried to be the next Gone Girl, but came up a little short.
42. Boo! A Madea Halloween ($73 M) Tyler Perry discovers there's still gold in cross-dressing.
44. 10 Cloverfield Lane ($72 M) This pop up movie release proved there's gold in surprises.
46. Hacksaw Ridge ($67 M) Mel Gibson's resurrection.  (Heh.)
47. The Divergent Series: Allegiant ($66 M) Apparently this particular young adult book series really wasn't that popular.
48. Now You See Me 2 ($65 M) Never saw the original, but I want to see this one just to see Daniel Radcliffe mock himself.
49. Ice Age: Collision Course ($64 M) Time to stop making these, I think.
50. The Boss ($63 M) Melissa McCarthy comes back down to earth.
51. London Has Fallen ($62 M) This probably should not have become a series.
55. My Big fat Greek Wedding 2 ($59 M) Another belated sequel.
56. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back ($58 M) Another sequel to a movie I haven't seen that I want to, in part because the trailer was awesome and also because it's the closest we'll get to a Maria Hill movie.
57. Fences ($57 M) I don't know, I'm not sure I was feeling Denzel Washington in 2016.  This was a passion project, one I'm not sure I'll see anytime soon.
61. The Shallows ($55 M) A younger me probably would've loved to catch Blake Lively's bikini adventures.
65. 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi ($52 M) I wonder how many Hollywood careers were ruined by making this one.
66. Lion ($51 M) A would-be prestige movie that will probably be a family favorite in some households.
67. The Huntsman: Winter's War ($48 M) Like a who's who of the best actresses working today.
69. Manchester by the Sea ($47 M) Glad to see Casey Affleck recognized.
70. Warcraft ($47 M) Glad to see Duncan Jones get a shot at blockbuster filmmaking.  Sorry that it wasn't a hit.
73. War Dogs ($43 M) Wow, Miles Teller is struggling to find a breakout hit, isn't he?
78. Risen ($36 M) Innovative look at the resurrection.
79. The Nice Guys ($36 M) Destined to be a cult hit.
84. Inferno ($34 M) The third Robert Langdon movie was a huge box office dud.
86. Patriots Day ($31 M) Seems this would've been a bigger hit in a different era.
87. Gods of Egypt ($31 M) Gerard Butler has rediscovered that obscurity that he knew so well before finding unexpected success with another historic blockbuster.
88. Collateral Beauty ($31 M) I'm gonna see this Will Smith flick at some point.  Seems like another Seven Pounds.
89. Hail, Caesar! ($30 M) I'm always playing catch-up with the Coens.
91. Zoolander 2 ($28 M) The first was a cult hit.  The second came way too late to recreate Austin Powers.
92. Moonlight ($27 M) Won Best Picture at the Oscars.
95. Hell or High Water ($27 M) Chris Pine receives serious critic respect.
97. Ben-Hur ($26 M) Only in 2016 could one of the most popular stories in American history land with a dud.
102. Snowden ($21 M) The latest from Oliver Stone.
104. Free State of Jones ($20 M) A personal favorite.
116. The Birth of a Nation ($15 M) Seemingly tailor-made for critical success until its director found his reputation ruined.
120. Criminal ($14 M) I found the casting decisions interesting in this one.
124. Jackie ($13 M) As in Jackie O.  As in Natalie Portman.
131. Café Society ($11 M) The latest from Woody Allen.
132. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies ($10 M) Could still become a cult hit (again).
143. The Lobster ($8 M) Critics rediscover Colin Farrell.
145. Loving ($7 M) Jeff Nichols makes a desperate bid for awards love.
146. Silence ($7 M) Martin Scorsese's latest.
162. A Hologram for the King ($4 M) This is how tough it's been for Tom Hanks.
163. Swiss Army Man ($4 M) Daniel Radcliffe can literally do anything he wants.
171. A Monster Calls ($3 M) Could probably become a cult hit.
172. Midnight Special ($3 M) Same here.
173. Rules Don't Apply ($3 M) But studios still expect a hit, Mr. Beatty.
211. Billy Flynn's Long Halftime Walk ($1 M) Kind of shocking Ang Lee's awards bid fell so flat.
219. Jane Got a Gun ($1 M) A Star Wars prequels reunion.
274. Knight of Cups ($566 T) Terrence Malick's latest.
465. The Take ($50 T) Idris Elba stars.
651. Frank and Lola ($9 T) Michael Shannon stars.

All numbers provided by Box Office Mojo as of 4/16/17. M = Millions, T = Thousands.  All numbers reflective of US box office results.

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