One of the things I've always dreaded as a writer is finding a blank audience, or alienating it. And I think I continue to do both here at Scouring Monk. That's part of what led to the dramatic pullback of a little more than a month ago of all my previous blogging activity.
I always expect big things from what I do. I can't help it. But the big things don't seem to materialize. At some point I have to acknowledge that this is my own doing. As I said at the start, I think I'm best at alienating myself. Sometimes I'm self-deprecating about that. A few posts ago I referenced a Green Lantern character, who was famously introduced in an Alan Moore story, the whole point of which was to explain the phrase, "Mogo doesn't socialize."
Thing is, Mogo is an entire planet. That's why he doesn't socialize. Throughout my life I've come across stumbling block after stumbling block in my efforts to be social. I think that plays a big part in my rate of success (such as it is).
But I think I also ask far too much from people. I keep writing huge chunks of words on this blog. In fact, the whole A-to-Z fiasco as I grew to interpret it stemmed not as much from the Challenge itself but from the Liebster post. I've read enough Liebster posts from other bloggers to know that they don't typically drone on for nearly as long as I did.
My wordy diarrhea is an acknowledged need for acceptance, to impress, to seek approval.
And that's why this note will be as brief as I can make it, because at some point we all realize where we make our biggest mistakes. We all do, we really do. Most of the time we simply don't see when those around us have experienced it.
I keep approaching this blogging thing the same way. When I started out in 2002, I was short and pithy. Not that I was a massive success, mind you (more like mired in obscurity). But maybe that's what I should do again. I know that when I come across a blog that has an incredibly long entry, I'm less likely to make the commitment to read it.
Anyway, this is just to say the milk's run out and I've gone to the store to replace it.