Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Direct Current #25/Box Office 1995

ITEM!  Tony Laplume - Tony did an interview!
In further developments from that one biographical comic he did (possibly more to follow), Tony talks in the third person about his self-titled author's blog, references a Franco American heritage he will in all likelihood write more about, and mentions an interview.

Read more here.

ITEM!  Star Trek Fan Companion - The Next Generation 1x1/1x2 "Encounter at Farpoint"
This two-part episode introduces, well, the next generation of Star Trek stars, including Q, because he completely steals their first appearance, and he does so while wearing a ridiculous judge's outfit that he does not wear again until the final episode.  Also, Data attempts to whistle.

Read more here.

ITEM!  Star Trek Fan Companion - The Next Generation 1x3 "The Naked Now"
Tasha Yar doesn't really get naked, but she also doesn't swing a fencing sword around either.  Data still remembers it at the end of the season, so that means you maybe ought to remember it, too.

Read more here.

ITEM!  Comics Reader - Happy! #2 of 4
Grant Morrison maybe revisits Bat-Mite in this mini-series.  That's what I posit in this review.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about, maybe you ought to:

Read more here.

ITEM!  Comics Reader - Justice League #13
Geoff Johns continues to define his take on the League by a heavy emphasis on Wonder Woman.  I like to point that out because apparently nobody else has noticed.

Read more here.



SOAP BOX

1995, brought to you by 2012.  If you don't get that by the time I'm done writing up the top ten, I'll explain it.  You'll smack your face.

1. Toy Story ($191 mil)
Tom Hanks and Tim Allen, who have still not starred in a live action movie together, make magic by playing a cowboy and a spaceman.  Only one of them has played that role with their face actually showing.  Tell me which one and I will write a poem for for.  Tell me how the above Google Affiliate Ad is ironic and I will write you two.

2. Batman Forever ($184 mil)
I was just watching Natural Born Killers the other day, and realized that that's the real secret origin of Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face.  Also, Chris O'Donnell trades Al Pacino for Val Kilmer, and Nicole Kidman plays a Bat Girl.  But not Batgirl.  Jim Carrey co-stars, previewing The Cable Guy.

3. Apollo 13 ($172 mil)
Ha!  Take that, Tim Allen.  Hanks officially owns 1995.  However, Gary Sinese may remind him that glory comes with a price.  Actually, that's the second time Gary has tried to teach him that.  One of Ron Howard's best.

4. Pocahontas ($141 mil)
Say what you will about Disney, but instead of churning out fluff its newfound powers of animation started turning to some unlikely sources for inspiration.  There's something about colors of the wind involved with this one.

5. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls ($108 mil)
Even though this one made more money, the first one was better.  Jim Carrey officially battles Tom Hanks for 1995 supremacy.  And they, too, have never shared the screen.  What's up with that?

6. GoldenEye ($106 mil)
Pierce Brosnan helps make James Bond history, not only by bringing the franchise back to the top ten, but by having the biggest gross to date.  That would only last two years.  In fact, Skyfall is well on its way to keeping the new tradition alive.  Each new Bond flick from this point forward earns more than the one before it.  No, really.

7. Jumanji ($100 mil)
Robin Williams brings a board game to life in order to stay relevant.  He did not share the secret of how to do that with Taylor Kitsch.

8. Casper ($100 mil)
The '90s were good to revive random pop culture properties into big hits.  This one is about the Friendly Ghost.  If it were done today, Casper would be a hunky dude, and would still play second banana to some chick.

9. Seven ($100 mil)
David Fincher's first big hit, starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, and a box.  Yes, Pitt is now a movie star.

10. Die Hard: With a Vengeance ($100 mil)
If Eddie Murphy had just been a little more disciplined starring in his own franchises, he too could have Bruce Willis's career, and have prosthetic effects alter the appearance of another character so they could be more like him.  Holy crap.  I just realized that The Nutty Professor was Eddie Murphy's Looper.

Anyway, so let's explain what I said earlier.  Toy Story 3 screenwriter Michael Arndt was recently announced as the scribe behind Star Wars Episode VII.  That's one.  GoldenEye was the first Bond after a lengthy hiatus, just like Skyfall.  That's two.  And if you can remind me about the third that I was thinking about while I was writing about the top ten, that would get you three poems.

Other notable movies: Crimson Tide ($91 mil; for some reason I always end up thinking of The Hunt for Red October when I think of this one, and I have no idea why), Waterworld ($88 mil; Kevin Costner next big historical flop, but I like it), Dangerous Minds ($84 mil; inspired a Coolio song and an Annie Potts TV show), Mr. Holland's Opus ($82 mil; Richard Dreyfuss continues to be awesome), While You Were Sleeping ($81 mil; Jesse James swears that he never heard of this movie), Congo ($81 mil; this was while people still thought every movie based on a Michael Crichton book would be a hit, just like all those John Grisham movies), Father of the Bride II ($76 mil; in which Steve Martin hangs out with a black chick; oh wait, that's another movie; this one's exactly like all his other movies from this period), Braveheart ($75 mil; when it was still socially acceptable to enable Mel Gibson's crazy people, who in this instance wears a skirt), Get Shorty ($72 mil; John Travolta in his last cool role), Grumpier Old Men ($71 mil; Kevin Pollack in his last cool role), The Bridges of Madison County ($71 mil; in which Clint Eastwood plays misty for himself), Mortal Kombat ($70 mil; too few people seem to realize how cool 1995 really was), Nine Months ($69 mil; that's exactly what Hugh Grant says), Outbreak ($67 mil; hey! it's another hit movie starring Dustin Hoffman!), Heat ($67 mil; famously starring Al Pacino and Robert De Niro together), Waiting to Exhale ($67 mil; is it safe yet? I only ask because I'm starting to get concerned), Bad Boys ($65 mil; don't blame Will Smith and Martin Lawrence being cool for Michael Bay's later success with giant mutating robots), Babe ($63 mil; about a pig), The American President ($60 mil; pilot for The West Wing), Species ($60 mil; surprisingly awesome), Twelve Monkeys ($57 mil; Terry Gilliam, Bruce Willis, and Brad Pitt collaborate on awesome), Clueless ($56 mil; this is as close to the '80s as the '90s got, as far as Breakfast Clubs go), Sabrina ($53 mil; Harrison Ford does not sell movies by being sensitive, but by being awesome), Something to Talk About ($50 mil; or what Julia Roberts does not accomplish with this film), The Net ($50 mil; Sandra Bullock should have stuck with unfortunate forecasts of her future in 1995, rather than things Al Gore would later claim he created), Under Siege 2: Dark Territory ($50 mil; no, seriously people, I hate you for knowing who Steven Seagal is, because he has never made a movie as cool as he is), A Walk in the Clouds ($50 mil; Hollywood tries so hard to get Keanu Reeves liked on a regular basis), The Brady Bunch Movie ($46 mil; well, at least this one was only a middling hit, but it still spawned a sequel), Casino ($42 mil; Martin Scorsese makes a stereotypical Martin Scorsese film, but is not as successful as when he did it with Goodfellas), Dead Man Walking ($39 mil; sometimes I think Sean Penn believes he became as righteous as this movie just by starring in it), Higher Learning ($38 mil; one of the great message movies set on a college campus), Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers ($38 mil; this franchise continues, but thankfully not on the big screen), First Knight ($37 mil; Richard Gere and Sean Connery learn the same lesson as King Arthur ten years earlier), To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar ($36 mil; one of the coolest movie titles ever), The Indian in the Cupboard ($35 mil; even though I loved the books, I never saw the movie), Money Train ($35 mil; brought to you by the campaign to recognize that Jennifer Lopez had a career before 2000), IJudge Dredd ($34 mil; ooh! another link to 2012!), Tommy Boy ($32 mil; Chris Farley's best), Leaving Las Vegas ($32 mil; Nicolas Cage in the last time anyone still believed in the veneer of his sanity), Rob Roy ($31 mil; Liam Neeson finally starts starring in his own movies), Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home ($30 mil; now they're even copping most of the title of the fourth Star Trek movie!), Friday ($27 mil; between this and Higher Learning, no wonder Ice Cube starting believing he was a movie star), Billy Madison ($25 mil; not Adam Sandler's best), Desperado ($25 mil; Robert Rodriguez does his version of cool, starring Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek), Operation Dumbo Drop ($24 mil; in all fairness, one of the least cool titles ever), Virtuosity ($24 mil; Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe eventually make up for this), The Usual Suspects ($23 mil; one of the best movies ever, and another reason why this was the last year Kevin Pollack was cool), Don Juan de Marco ($22 mil; Johnny Depp helps Faye Dunaway and Marlon Brando make their last great movies), To Die For ($21 mil; Nicole Kidman probably at the height of her cool), Showgirls ($20 mil; eternally not cool), Johnny Mnemonic ($19 mil; Keanu does not equal Neo, yet), The Quick and the Dead ($18 mil; one of my favorite movies, and one of the coolest Westerns ever), Devil in a Blue Dress ($16 mil; people used to talk about Denzel Washington being a wildcard James Bond, and this would be one of the reasons why), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers ($15 mil), Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh ($13 mil), Nixon ($13 mil; Oliver Stone fails to make his subject as popular as he actually was at one point; no, seriously!), A Kid in King Arthur's Court ($13 mil), Highlander 3: The Final Dimension ($12 mil; if someone could make an actual hit from this franchise, they'd have to be considered a genius), The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain ($10 mil; another cool title), Dracula: Dead and Loving It ($10 mil; Mel Brooks not at his best but also not at his worst), Cutthroat Island ($10 mil; if Kevin Costner should feel any solace about Waterworld, it's that it was still a far bigger hit than Geena Davis's attempt to make people in 1995 love pirates), Nick of Time ($8 mil; then again, 1995 didn't love Johnny Depp, either, so who knows?), Strange Days ($7 mil; I still need to see this one, another early Kathryn Bigelow), Kids ($7 mil; 1995 being infamous), Mighty Aphrodite ($6 mil; classic Woody Allen cool titling), The Walking Dead ($6 mil; no relation to the TV show or comic book), Before Sunrise ($5 mil; indy classic), Four Rooms ($4 mil; flop collaboration between Tarantino, Rodriguez, and two other directors), Tank Girl ($4 mil), Othello ($2 mil; Laurence Fishburne and Kenneth Branagh making Shakespeare awesome), Richard III ($2 mil; Ian McKellen also rocking Shakespeare), Moonlight and Valentino ($2 mil; another cool title), Wild Bill ($2 mil; Jeff Bridges in an underrated Western), City of Lost Children ($1 mil), Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead ($500 thou; another historically cool movie title), 3 Ninjas Knuckle Up ($400 thou), Empire Records ($200 thou)

Source: Box Office Mojo

4 comments:

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

Movies must have been a lot cheaper back then that the #1 movie only had $191 million. I mean the last Twilight almost made that in one weekend.

Pocahontas was such a dumb movie from a historical standpoint. Only Disney could think it could rewrite history like that.

At this point Strange Days is pretty dated. I mean it was about Y2K 4 years before anyone gave a shit about Y2K. I think it also borrows from Bill Shatner's Tek War with some kind of virtual reality drug or something. Or maybe not. It's been a couple years since I watched it and it wasn't really that memorable. (Which of course means you'll think it's the greatest movie of all time!)

Maurice Mitchell said...

I'd agree with your top ten. Jumanji was fun although nothing more than that. Eddie Murphy only has himself to blame. The Quick and the Dead is a great movie. Highly underrated if for nothing else that "The Kid."

Tony Laplume said...

Maurice, these are strictly that year's box office results. My personal rankings are pretty different.

"The Quick and the Dead" was my first exposure to Russell Crowe. For that reason alone I'll always love it. Though Leo DiCaprio is also pretty awesome in it.

PT, I accept your challenge. When I finally see it I will admit that it is the greatest movie of all time.

And nobody wants poems? I thought I made the requirements easy!

Tony Laplume said...

For the record
the third reference
that you might have heard
was in Robin hence.

He appeared with Kilmer
and with Christian Bale,
in Batman Forever
and The Dark Knight Rises. Hail!

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