Brian "Grandmaster Sexay" Christopher (Lawler) is back! Back in WWE anyway. He's been on exile for a few years now, and I'm not quite sure I ever found out why. Because he voluntarily left? All's I know is, he was active in NWA-TNA for a while, and last night he returned, only to get whalloped by Kane! (Eerily reminiscent of the quick job Orlando Jordan was forced to do in a loss against Rene Dupree last Thursday, actually. Is it management's big call to squander guys with potential in favor of guys who need to look good? Wouldn't it be better to show that those guys who need to look good win a match they actually have to work for? How long is Kane going to have to be a "monster" before WWE realizes people don't care for artificial dominance anymore?) But anyhoo, Grandmaster's back! The Hip Hop Drop is back! The goggles! Well, I'm assuming with the Drop and the goggles...because, y'know, I don't get Spike TV...and Kane obliterated him...
Al Snow, with one more gimmick! Nice to hear he was on Raw again, even if he had to do it as the Black Ninja, and even more degradingly, as Coach's hired goon. But it does give Tajiri something to do, even if the match at Backlash between himself and Coach won't exactly be his biggest challenge ever...
So Mr. Benjamin will have a match at Sunday's PPV after all. And it'll be against Ric Flair. I suppose they're holding on to the Batista card in case Batista is ever pushed as a singles wrestler...Should be a win for Benjamin, or at least a very good match...
Was Lita's conspicuous absence during Christian and Trish's beatdown of Chris Jericho indicative of anything, or was it just the fans adding character to the fuel? Maybe there's something there yet, maybe there isn't...There is something about Eugene, however. He's an effective comic device, as far as I can tell. Wonder what he'll do in the, y'know, ring, and whether Nick Dinsmore will be able to live this down. Al Snow never recovered from his bajillion comic creations...But on the plus side, WWE.com did had a four page article on William Regal, referencing all the good he'll be able to do now that he's back. That was a kind gesture. It also appears he'll be wrestling at some point, which is another welcome development.
Edge's push seems to be tied into the Johnny Nitro character at the moment, but I'm making note of it because it's somewhat ironic that a character named Nitro is on Raw. Somehow I don't think it's lost on the writers, but I don't think this is what Tony Schiavone meant when he called the last Nitro broadcast three years ago a "season finale"...
Speaking of Al Snow, Eugene, and gimmicks destined to lead nowhere, it was good to see Hurricane wrestling, and picking up a win, last night! Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe Eugene will go somewhere (the Godwins sorta did, and they were friggin hog farmers!), and maybe Hurricane has a long and fruitful career ahead of him. Well, maybe...Sometimes there's the entertainment aspect for the sake of the entertainment in this arena...
The night's final match, the eight-way between Evolution and champion Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley (or was it Cactus Kack?), and Shelton Benjamin, sounded like it was a good one. Benoit appears to have been well-received as champion. And so, like Eddie Guerrero, he might actually hold onto the title for a while. Excellent! Raw, whether it wants to admit it or not, might finally be realizing what Smackdown has known all along. Once you get past the bravado, the words, and the one-upsmanship, it's about the wrestling, stupid...
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Friday, April 09, 2004
#76. Raw Thoughts Salvaged, Smackdown
So here's a few of the thoughts I was having until they were lost...
"Eugene" Dinsmore debuted this past Monday, as Eric Bischoff's "special" cousin, but salvaging this apparent misuse of OVW talent Nick Dinsmore is the fact that William Regal has finally made his return, and his charge this time around...is to handle Eugene, as per Bischoff's request. This should have the effect of bringing out the very best in Regal's character, hence the salvaging of this storyline...
Shelton Benjamin, despite his recent push against Evolution and Triple H, isn't currently scheduled for a PPV appearance at Backlash. And if all he keeps getting is bookings aginst the Evolution machine, I don't see much prospect for a match, unless something against Evolution fillers (and tag team champions) Batista and Rick Flair (who've made a career out of supporting Randy Orton) is cobled together. He can't go up against Intercontinental champion Orton, because Orton is still tangled up with Mick Foley, who has for months now been involved in a feud with Orton, which Batista and Flair have been grafted onto in order to extend it for no particular reason other than to show that Evolution is a bully racket. The numbers game, then. I don't see how Evolution is supposed to be a big deal, however, when all its members ever do is pursue personal vendettas or hog titles. A worthwhile stable it has not been. More like a stepping stone for Orton, a place for Flair, something for Batista to do, and window dressing for Triple H. But what do I know? If Foley achieves a feel-good victory over Orton at Backlash (as he was never able to do four years ago in a protracted feud with Hunter), he captures the IC belt, thus leaving Benjamin nothing to fight for. So I see it likely that Foley won't win, and that the next thing Orton and Benjamin do is feud with each other. But what do I know?
I also talked about Rhyno's woes. He made his name as ECW's final champion, but his WWE career was cut short when he went out with a neck injury. Upon returning, he was relegated to Chris Benoit's tag team partner (thus screwing the both of them for months on monkey work), and then for a while he had nothing to do. Then he became John Cena's whipping boy, ostensibly as Paul Heyman's chosen defender. Then he went to Raw , where he continues to be (like Matt Hardy, as I've feared) nothing but a glorified jobber. Paul heyman, however, is gearing up toward a new ECW, and rumor has it that he'll be appearing on WWE TV again so he can steal some talent. For Rhyno's sake, I hope he's among that lot.
On to some fresh thoughts, because I can't remember if I'm forgetting anything else I might have talked about...Oh wait, there was one more thought. Also at Backlash will be Edge versus Kane. Edge I think is pretty much locked for this victory, making Shane-o-Mac the only wrestler Kane has a decent shot at dominating at a PPV. Kinda sad, isn't it?...Also, Lita was given an assist by Chris Jericho to vault her into a women's title (still suddenly relevant!) match against champion Victoria, owner of legendary half-tights! I don't know if the association is a one-shot deal, as Jericho is still engaged into a feud with Trish Stratus and Christian (and he'll be fighting 'em both in a couple weeks), but it's always nice to see Lita get a push. I've been a fan of hers since the Essai Rios days. Who's Essai Rios? The poor shlub who had the misfortune of being completely eclipsed by the WWE debuting Lita (she'd previously been slightly less foxy in ECW).
Okay, to Smackdown! Bradshaw/JBL/John Bradshaw Layfield continued to get his push, likely to result in either the spotlight match -- whichSmackdown has gotten into the habit of programming in to counterbalance the two-month intervals imposed by the brand splitting of the PPVs -- that could be coming in a few weeks, or at the next Smackdown PPV, which is more than a month away. Can even Kurt Angle, GM, keep Bradshaw interesting that long, as far as a push for the WWE championship is concerned? We might just see...! One thing was made clear, however, and that was John Cena's budding popularity, which will mean sometime this year he'll be making a run for the big belt, if Smackdown has an ounce of sense. But what do I know? (Has it become annoyingly clear that I'm pushing that as a catch phrase? Is it not good enough? Well, how about, "You're fired!")
It was bound to happen. Booker T and Rob Van Dam are going to facing each other next week. Put them on the same show, and you'll be forced to deal with their past, if you can't come up with something better. The danger, of course, is that they'll become isolated from the rest of the roster. Maybe if they just get this obligatory match out of the way, Booker and RVD can finally move on to more productive storylines...?
It seems the Dudleyz are the recent acquisitions with the quickest bee-lines toward Smackdown relevance. If Scotty and Rikishi are still tag team champions after facing them in a title match, I'll eat "Good Ol' JR"'s hat...
It seems as if Smackdown is trying to equate RVD with Triple H. Last night it pushed home the parallel between Hunter's recent battles with Shelton Benjamin with RVD's battles against Charlie Haas. I suppose you could make an analogy between Hunter and RVD, but the difference is how they intersect. Hunter is very popular with the creative end of WWE, while RVD is very popular with the fans. Maybe this is a further attempt to drive home the differences between the two brands? Perhaps, but let's have a feud between RVD and Haas, not RVD and Booker T, then. Benjamin can't have a similarly extended feud with Hunter, because they're ultimately in different ponds. RVD isn't that much elevated from Haas, as far as career prospects are concerned. But what do I...Sorry. I'll stop with that already...
It seems Smackdown actually will continue to acquire new faces, just as Raw is. Rico and the lovely Miss Jackie (the former Tough Enough contestant, not the former Harlem Heat "sister") will be debuting next week! The last time Rico was on Thursdays, he was coaching Chuck Palumbo and Billy Gunn to marriage, which I suppose is further reason for Palumbo to be headed to Raw...
The worst deal of the lottery might have befallen Jamie Noble, who lost Nidia. Now he's lost the essential aspect of his character, as it has been defined for months. And now he'll be dwelling in the pit of jobbers...
Poor Orlando Jordan was used as window dressing again. He and Shannon Moore sat by while Theodore (apparently he doesn't like to be called "Teddy") Long and Spike Dudley engaged in fighting words. Why did Long and Spike have to move to do this? Who knows...But The latest Smackdown Magazine stated that Jordan has made a deal with an unseemly manager character, and that this will soon see the light of day, revealing Jordan for his true colors. Does this mean Paul Heyman? Jordan doesn't seem like an ECW wrestler to me. I hope this doesn't mean Long, because that would go nowhere fast...
Danny Basham (the Basham who was not actually a Bashum until landing on WWE TV) took on Cena in a one-on-one. The match, however, was likely just an excuse to give Cena some easy cred, like last week against Nunzio and The Bull (hm, sounds like Pinky and the Brain :D), which means nothing much for either Basham...
And it's back to Jordan now. He got the opportunity to job to Rene Dupree, who has the benefit of some kind of character. (I'm big on Jordan because I think he can carry a decent match; he did with Brock Lesnar a few months back, anyway. But I'm not sure I can use Lesnar as testamony, because some of the so-called "smart marks" have apparently decided that Brock, as with Goldberg, couldn't wrestle all that well. It's the classic "Let's turn on the guy who's currently favored," of which another example can be seen in Triple H.)
The Long-Spike angle turned out to be an excuse to get Johnny the Bull some more air time, which I suppose is not a bad thing, even if he once again had to job. Why is Spike getting a push, anyway? Has nobody learned a thing from Zack Gowan? Where can he go from here? Then Mark Jindrak made his first appearance since been acquired, as Long's hired thug. But with the apparent flippancy of Smackdown's interest in another big guy, Tough Enough prospect Matt Morgan, how much can Jindrak really look forward to doing? Who knows? I don't.
Eddie Guerrero has more than proved he can run at the head of the pack. It certainly helps that everyone has been so cooperative about it, including Kurt Angle, GM. John Cena might be the guy that takes the title away from him, but for now we have to put up with Bradshaw getting the "Hardcore Holly Push," although admittedly there's a lot more spirit being put into Bradshaw's push than Holly ever enjoyed. All I know is, it's apparently a good time to be a Latino wrestler. Both the WWE Guerreros have been enjoying incredible success in recent months, and the most recent NWA-TNA show had a running tournament involcing a Latino contigent and a UK contigent. The Latinos won, naturally...
"Eugene" Dinsmore debuted this past Monday, as Eric Bischoff's "special" cousin, but salvaging this apparent misuse of OVW talent Nick Dinsmore is the fact that William Regal has finally made his return, and his charge this time around...is to handle Eugene, as per Bischoff's request. This should have the effect of bringing out the very best in Regal's character, hence the salvaging of this storyline...
Shelton Benjamin, despite his recent push against Evolution and Triple H, isn't currently scheduled for a PPV appearance at Backlash. And if all he keeps getting is bookings aginst the Evolution machine, I don't see much prospect for a match, unless something against Evolution fillers (and tag team champions) Batista and Rick Flair (who've made a career out of supporting Randy Orton) is cobled together. He can't go up against Intercontinental champion Orton, because Orton is still tangled up with Mick Foley, who has for months now been involved in a feud with Orton, which Batista and Flair have been grafted onto in order to extend it for no particular reason other than to show that Evolution is a bully racket. The numbers game, then. I don't see how Evolution is supposed to be a big deal, however, when all its members ever do is pursue personal vendettas or hog titles. A worthwhile stable it has not been. More like a stepping stone for Orton, a place for Flair, something for Batista to do, and window dressing for Triple H. But what do I know? If Foley achieves a feel-good victory over Orton at Backlash (as he was never able to do four years ago in a protracted feud with Hunter), he captures the IC belt, thus leaving Benjamin nothing to fight for. So I see it likely that Foley won't win, and that the next thing Orton and Benjamin do is feud with each other. But what do I know?
I also talked about Rhyno's woes. He made his name as ECW's final champion, but his WWE career was cut short when he went out with a neck injury. Upon returning, he was relegated to Chris Benoit's tag team partner (thus screwing the both of them for months on monkey work), and then for a while he had nothing to do. Then he became John Cena's whipping boy, ostensibly as Paul Heyman's chosen defender. Then he went to Raw , where he continues to be (like Matt Hardy, as I've feared) nothing but a glorified jobber. Paul heyman, however, is gearing up toward a new ECW, and rumor has it that he'll be appearing on WWE TV again so he can steal some talent. For Rhyno's sake, I hope he's among that lot.
On to some fresh thoughts, because I can't remember if I'm forgetting anything else I might have talked about...Oh wait, there was one more thought. Also at Backlash will be Edge versus Kane. Edge I think is pretty much locked for this victory, making Shane-o-Mac the only wrestler Kane has a decent shot at dominating at a PPV. Kinda sad, isn't it?...Also, Lita was given an assist by Chris Jericho to vault her into a women's title (still suddenly relevant!) match against champion Victoria, owner of legendary half-tights! I don't know if the association is a one-shot deal, as Jericho is still engaged into a feud with Trish Stratus and Christian (and he'll be fighting 'em both in a couple weeks), but it's always nice to see Lita get a push. I've been a fan of hers since the Essai Rios days. Who's Essai Rios? The poor shlub who had the misfortune of being completely eclipsed by the WWE debuting Lita (she'd previously been slightly less foxy in ECW).
Okay, to Smackdown! Bradshaw/JBL/John Bradshaw Layfield continued to get his push, likely to result in either the spotlight match -- whichSmackdown has gotten into the habit of programming in to counterbalance the two-month intervals imposed by the brand splitting of the PPVs -- that could be coming in a few weeks, or at the next Smackdown PPV, which is more than a month away. Can even Kurt Angle, GM, keep Bradshaw interesting that long, as far as a push for the WWE championship is concerned? We might just see...! One thing was made clear, however, and that was John Cena's budding popularity, which will mean sometime this year he'll be making a run for the big belt, if Smackdown has an ounce of sense. But what do I know? (Has it become annoyingly clear that I'm pushing that as a catch phrase? Is it not good enough? Well, how about, "You're fired!")
It was bound to happen. Booker T and Rob Van Dam are going to facing each other next week. Put them on the same show, and you'll be forced to deal with their past, if you can't come up with something better. The danger, of course, is that they'll become isolated from the rest of the roster. Maybe if they just get this obligatory match out of the way, Booker and RVD can finally move on to more productive storylines...?
It seems the Dudleyz are the recent acquisitions with the quickest bee-lines toward Smackdown relevance. If Scotty and Rikishi are still tag team champions after facing them in a title match, I'll eat "Good Ol' JR"'s hat...
It seems as if Smackdown is trying to equate RVD with Triple H. Last night it pushed home the parallel between Hunter's recent battles with Shelton Benjamin with RVD's battles against Charlie Haas. I suppose you could make an analogy between Hunter and RVD, but the difference is how they intersect. Hunter is very popular with the creative end of WWE, while RVD is very popular with the fans. Maybe this is a further attempt to drive home the differences between the two brands? Perhaps, but let's have a feud between RVD and Haas, not RVD and Booker T, then. Benjamin can't have a similarly extended feud with Hunter, because they're ultimately in different ponds. RVD isn't that much elevated from Haas, as far as career prospects are concerned. But what do I...Sorry. I'll stop with that already...
It seems Smackdown actually will continue to acquire new faces, just as Raw is. Rico and the lovely Miss Jackie (the former Tough Enough contestant, not the former Harlem Heat "sister") will be debuting next week! The last time Rico was on Thursdays, he was coaching Chuck Palumbo and Billy Gunn to marriage, which I suppose is further reason for Palumbo to be headed to Raw...
The worst deal of the lottery might have befallen Jamie Noble, who lost Nidia. Now he's lost the essential aspect of his character, as it has been defined for months. And now he'll be dwelling in the pit of jobbers...
Poor Orlando Jordan was used as window dressing again. He and Shannon Moore sat by while Theodore (apparently he doesn't like to be called "Teddy") Long and Spike Dudley engaged in fighting words. Why did Long and Spike have to move to do this? Who knows...But The latest Smackdown Magazine stated that Jordan has made a deal with an unseemly manager character, and that this will soon see the light of day, revealing Jordan for his true colors. Does this mean Paul Heyman? Jordan doesn't seem like an ECW wrestler to me. I hope this doesn't mean Long, because that would go nowhere fast...
Danny Basham (the Basham who was not actually a Bashum until landing on WWE TV) took on Cena in a one-on-one. The match, however, was likely just an excuse to give Cena some easy cred, like last week against Nunzio and The Bull (hm, sounds like Pinky and the Brain :D), which means nothing much for either Basham...
And it's back to Jordan now. He got the opportunity to job to Rene Dupree, who has the benefit of some kind of character. (I'm big on Jordan because I think he can carry a decent match; he did with Brock Lesnar a few months back, anyway. But I'm not sure I can use Lesnar as testamony, because some of the so-called "smart marks" have apparently decided that Brock, as with Goldberg, couldn't wrestle all that well. It's the classic "Let's turn on the guy who's currently favored," of which another example can be seen in Triple H.)
The Long-Spike angle turned out to be an excuse to get Johnny the Bull some more air time, which I suppose is not a bad thing, even if he once again had to job. Why is Spike getting a push, anyway? Has nobody learned a thing from Zack Gowan? Where can he go from here? Then Mark Jindrak made his first appearance since been acquired, as Long's hired thug. But with the apparent flippancy of Smackdown's interest in another big guy, Tough Enough prospect Matt Morgan, how much can Jindrak really look forward to doing? Who knows? I don't.
Eddie Guerrero has more than proved he can run at the head of the pack. It certainly helps that everyone has been so cooperative about it, including Kurt Angle, GM. John Cena might be the guy that takes the title away from him, but for now we have to put up with Bradshaw getting the "Hardcore Holly Push," although admittedly there's a lot more spirit being put into Bradshaw's push than Holly ever enjoyed. All I know is, it's apparently a good time to be a Latino wrestler. Both the WWE Guerreros have been enjoying incredible success in recent months, and the most recent NWA-TNA show had a running tournament involcing a Latino contigent and a UK contigent. The Latinos won, naturally...
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
#75. Raw Thoughts Gobbled
My thoughts on last night's Raw were unfortunately gobbled up, and I don't feel like retyping them...
Friday, April 02, 2004
#74. Survivor, Johnny Fairplay, JBL, John Cena
The reports of Smackdown's demise by the Scouring Monk may have been premature. Last night turned out to be a fairly good night. But before that, a note on NWA-TNA. Apparently one of my all-time favorite Survivors, Jon aka Johnny Fairplay from last season's Pearl Islands has found himself a gig there. Too bad I can't watch the fun. Much like the case, from the very first episode of the very first season, of Rich Hatch, I was probably Jon's only fan. Maybe it's because I haven't found the market that overlaps pro wrestling and Survivor fans yet. He really was the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be in that arena. And so of course he was screwed. Much like Rich was in the ongoing All-Star edition, which I'm hoping either Boston Rob or Lex will win. But we'll see about that.
Okay, back to Thursday night. Much like I softened up on RVD last week, I found I might be able to tolerate the Dudleyz, as long as Spike keeps on scrapping and Bubba continues to show a willingness to be whomped on. Devon I don't have a problem with, although his previous stint on the Smackdown brand more than a year ago, when he was being pushed as some sort of preacher, was most definitely a laughing matter. Speaking of laughing matters, what ever happened to Bill DeMott's days in the ring? Just a short push, to capitalize on Tough Enough? He might have proved useful right about now...
Instead we're seeing the revival of Bradshaw, or JBL, Johnny Slick, as one of those From Leftfield competitors for the heavyweight title that'll give a good hoot for a while then cool down pretty quickly. Hardcore Holly was the most recent beneficiary, and last night he proved against Booker T that he deserves a career revival and renewed push, in whatever venu. Poor RVD might have been knocked out of the running for the first ever Great American award Kurt Angle, GM, has cooked up to get things kicked off in the new Land of Opportunity (as Teddy Long put it), but he at least gave Charlie Haas perhaps the same kind of heat over a two week span that his former partner Shelton Benjamin secured in one match on Raw this past Monday. I don't think he's quite there, but then what do I know? But I did like the Monday recap that Smackdown provided. I hope that stays. They might be two separate brands, but they're both still WWE. No reason why we must pretend the shows exist in vacuums.
Two new tag teams, sort of, made their appearances last night. The newly trimmed Full Blooded Italians, Nunzio and Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli, were a welcome sight. Maybe they'll be used more now? Then there was Akio and Sakoda, who might seem familiar because they'd been Tajiri's so-called Japanese Mafia cronies for months, with little actually to do but appear alongside him backstage. Hopefully they'll also be used more. We didn't see two other Smackdown tag teams, champions Rikishi and Scotty (the Rik did have a match, however; against Big Show, and he was trounced) and the Bashams, who hopefully took the time off to grow some distinguishing facial hair, which they had when they were in OVW, feuding, and unrelated.
John Cena continues his shtick on the mic, and it just gets better. It looks like there really will be a feud with the French Phenom (who it might be added was another of a group of three that left behind two, this time the reverse of the shows; maybe it was a theme of the redrafting?) Rene Dupree. Hopefully Cena will be a fighting US champion, unlike Big Show, and unlike current IC champion Randy Orton on Raw (though maybe Mick Foley has a chance at it at Backlash?). Cena is one big example why Smackdown has a little more light at the end of the tunnel than I'd recently been dreading. He makes the whole damn show.
A few notes, now. Where's Undertaker? Is he waiting around, or is he not going to be all that busy in the ring? The used-to-be third member of the FBI Chuck Palumbo, meanwhile, will soon be appearing on Raw, which I was mad about for a while, since I would have liked to see him develop on Smackdown, but short of transporting the pair of Nunzio and Stamboli, I guess it sort of makes sense. RVD and Booker T can survive back together, but whenever Palumbo is seen on Smackdown, while Billy Gunn is still around (um, somewhere), the lyrics "You are so good to me" would surely come to mind. And don't call me Shirley! Plus there's the upcoming debut of Nick Dinsmore, um...somewhere, in the guise of a half-wit called Eugene. Why this is necessary, I don't know. But the misfire of Mike Awesome, as a groovy boob, in WCW comes to mind...Can you say surefire joke? What's the point? But what do I know?
If Bradshaw is going to be his next competitor, and not Booker T, Eddie Guerrero has gotten his ticket to continue on as WWE champion...Good for him!
Okay, back to Thursday night. Much like I softened up on RVD last week, I found I might be able to tolerate the Dudleyz, as long as Spike keeps on scrapping and Bubba continues to show a willingness to be whomped on. Devon I don't have a problem with, although his previous stint on the Smackdown brand more than a year ago, when he was being pushed as some sort of preacher, was most definitely a laughing matter. Speaking of laughing matters, what ever happened to Bill DeMott's days in the ring? Just a short push, to capitalize on Tough Enough? He might have proved useful right about now...
Instead we're seeing the revival of Bradshaw, or JBL, Johnny Slick, as one of those From Leftfield competitors for the heavyweight title that'll give a good hoot for a while then cool down pretty quickly. Hardcore Holly was the most recent beneficiary, and last night he proved against Booker T that he deserves a career revival and renewed push, in whatever venu. Poor RVD might have been knocked out of the running for the first ever Great American award Kurt Angle, GM, has cooked up to get things kicked off in the new Land of Opportunity (as Teddy Long put it), but he at least gave Charlie Haas perhaps the same kind of heat over a two week span that his former partner Shelton Benjamin secured in one match on Raw this past Monday. I don't think he's quite there, but then what do I know? But I did like the Monday recap that Smackdown provided. I hope that stays. They might be two separate brands, but they're both still WWE. No reason why we must pretend the shows exist in vacuums.
Two new tag teams, sort of, made their appearances last night. The newly trimmed Full Blooded Italians, Nunzio and Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli, were a welcome sight. Maybe they'll be used more now? Then there was Akio and Sakoda, who might seem familiar because they'd been Tajiri's so-called Japanese Mafia cronies for months, with little actually to do but appear alongside him backstage. Hopefully they'll also be used more. We didn't see two other Smackdown tag teams, champions Rikishi and Scotty (the Rik did have a match, however; against Big Show, and he was trounced) and the Bashams, who hopefully took the time off to grow some distinguishing facial hair, which they had when they were in OVW, feuding, and unrelated.
John Cena continues his shtick on the mic, and it just gets better. It looks like there really will be a feud with the French Phenom (who it might be added was another of a group of three that left behind two, this time the reverse of the shows; maybe it was a theme of the redrafting?) Rene Dupree. Hopefully Cena will be a fighting US champion, unlike Big Show, and unlike current IC champion Randy Orton on Raw (though maybe Mick Foley has a chance at it at Backlash?). Cena is one big example why Smackdown has a little more light at the end of the tunnel than I'd recently been dreading. He makes the whole damn show.
A few notes, now. Where's Undertaker? Is he waiting around, or is he not going to be all that busy in the ring? The used-to-be third member of the FBI Chuck Palumbo, meanwhile, will soon be appearing on Raw, which I was mad about for a while, since I would have liked to see him develop on Smackdown, but short of transporting the pair of Nunzio and Stamboli, I guess it sort of makes sense. RVD and Booker T can survive back together, but whenever Palumbo is seen on Smackdown, while Billy Gunn is still around (um, somewhere), the lyrics "You are so good to me" would surely come to mind. And don't call me Shirley! Plus there's the upcoming debut of Nick Dinsmore, um...somewhere, in the guise of a half-wit called Eugene. Why this is necessary, I don't know. But the misfire of Mike Awesome, as a groovy boob, in WCW comes to mind...Can you say surefire joke? What's the point? But what do I know?
If Bradshaw is going to be his next competitor, and not Booker T, Eddie Guerrero has gotten his ticket to continue on as WWE champion...Good for him!
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
#73. Draft Fallout, Part 2
After reading about this past Monday's Raw, I can continue to say, without a shadow of a doubt, that Smackdown was screwed. That said, the differences between the brands could not be more evident now. Raw is very much a storyline oriented program. It has a lot of talkers, so a lot of talking is done. It also has a lot of talented stars, but it seems to like the talking just a little more. Smackdown, on the other hand, concentrates more on the wrestling. It has stars that can talk (John Cena built his rep more on his talk than his walk), but it's the wrestling that is ultimately centerstage. So when the newbies arrived last Thursday, most of them were introduced in the ring, as wrestlers. Booker T was the only one treated differently, because they need to develope him into something immediately. The newbies on Raw, however, were more frequently introduced into storylines on their first night (Dupree and Booker T were the only ones with similar treatment on Smackdown, while on Monday there was Edge, Shelton Benjamin, Tajiri to some extent, and Paul Heyman, however brief that played out).
Nidia was first out, nothing much there. I'd hate to think that the highlight of her WWE career will end up being a trailer park relationship with Jamie Noble, but it probably will be, unless she becomes an importan presence as an actual wrestler. Edge, who speared Eric Bischoff as his big intro last week, this week was plugged into a match for Backlash against Kane. I hope this means he's in a holding pattern until Triple H is available, or unless he could turn out to be wasted potential...like Kane...
Hunter, meanwhile, is still milking his feud with Shawn Michaels, with Chris Benoit, current world champion, likely an afterthought (why else would he be stuck in another triple threat match??). Hunter still wears the pants on this show, that much is clear. Benoit has essentially walked into the middle of the Hunter-Heart Break Show, and even though he's getting some worth out of Michaels, Hunter is keeping him down by refusing to butt out already. Will there be another match, the next Raw PPV, between just Michaels and Benoit? Hopefully, but the question is, will the two working together have worn thin in two months? Unfortunately, Benoit's introduction to the brand came at an awkward time, as far as Triple H and his ego is concerned.
But from the ashes of Hunter and his Evolution clique comes Shelton Benjamin, the real steal. He's getting an incredible push, nothing his one-time partner Charlie Haas will soon see on Smackdown. What is there for Haas, other than an indefinite holding pattern? Apparently US champion Cena is headed to a feud with Rene Dupree. But what do I know? Just that Benjamin is the greatest beneficiary of the recent redrafting, with only Booker T and Rob Van Dam as challengers. But those two have to reverse recent trends in their careers, not build their careers, like Benjamin. Which seems more likekly to be more fruitful? But what do I know?
Tajiri, meanwhile, was immediately tied into a backstage plot with has-beens Sylvin Grenier, Rob Conway, and Garrison Cade, three spring chickens who will probably never go anywhere (the first two formerly being French faction associates of the aforementioned Dupree). Rhyno got to trounce Lance Storm, who will never go anywhere even with all the on-air attempts to give the poor guy some sympathy. Would he better off on Smackdown, as he claimed? Probably. At the very least, he could team up with Hardcore Holly (back in ECW, Storm was an Impact Player, after all). The two are pretty much the same size, with the same prospects for career advancement (the feud Holly got with Brock Lesnar a few months back was payback for a broken neck). I would rather have seen Strom make the jump than, say, Spike Dudley or Teddy Long. But what do I know?
While pondering the continuing shoehorning of Evolution as far as handing Batista and Ric Flair the tag team titles (and screwing Benoit and Michaels this Monday night) goes, there's Chris Jericho's further feud with Christian and Trish Stratus to consider, and this thing has been going on for months. Just how much longer? How much longer until it's a career? But what do I know? A god long feud is good news, just as long as it isn't being used so long because the writers don't know what else to do with any of them...
The show ends with Benjamin's huge upset over Triple H. One of the best things Hunter used to do, back when he was in his first phase on dominance about four years ago, was give all of the talent a chance to wrestle him. He showed great respect to the locker back then. But starting about two years ago, his ego ran wild and then Evolution was introduced, and all he was was the champion who never loses, and holds the world title for huge stretches of time, to the annoyance of the fans, who turned on the scene's premier star because he didn't know his limits. But lately, I'd say starting with his feud against Goldberg late last year, he began to return to form, showing his willingness to give back, play along with the game instead of dominate it for the sake of dominance (wrestling used to thrive on that, but only as recently as twenty years ago, when Hogan went wild). He allowed himself to submit to the Crippler Crossface at the year's biggest event, and now has let himself be defeated by a relative neophyte. This is nothing but good news for him, and for Raw. The playing field has been leveled. Evolution's tag team victories might have more to do with the lack of actual tag team talent (I really wish that the Dudleys could have stuck around Raw, instead of pollute the equally lacking Smackdown tag team scene, where Scotty and Rikishi reign almost by default, and likely in appreciation for what they've brought to the table previously). While I must again say that splitting The World's Greatest Tag Team up at this time was probably a mistake, I must also reiterate that it was probably good for Benjamin and Haas' solo success, which might balance things out.
And anyway, Just Benjamin's moment alone makes the statement that the lottery screwed Smackdown in favor of Raw all the more potent. Why give Monday a star with such immediate potential? If Thursday is breeding ground, why give up the breeding star with some of the most potential, especially seeing as how it's just beginning to be tapped? The breeding star for veteran swap that was Benjamin for Booker is just unequal, unfair, uneven. I have nothing against Booker, but he doesn't, hasn't, and probably never will have the same cache as a Chris Jericho. And speaking of Jericho and what his feud with Christian could become, whatever happened to Scott Steiner and Test? Are they to be cut loose, rather than be given another chance? Has neither any continued worth, or are they just a few more of the squandered talent WWE likes to litter? Maybe Paul Heyman and his new ECW could use them. Or Jarrett's TNA?
All I know is, the lottery still has not lived up to the hype...Let's see what Thursday has to offer.
Nidia was first out, nothing much there. I'd hate to think that the highlight of her WWE career will end up being a trailer park relationship with Jamie Noble, but it probably will be, unless she becomes an importan presence as an actual wrestler. Edge, who speared Eric Bischoff as his big intro last week, this week was plugged into a match for Backlash against Kane. I hope this means he's in a holding pattern until Triple H is available, or unless he could turn out to be wasted potential...like Kane...
Hunter, meanwhile, is still milking his feud with Shawn Michaels, with Chris Benoit, current world champion, likely an afterthought (why else would he be stuck in another triple threat match??). Hunter still wears the pants on this show, that much is clear. Benoit has essentially walked into the middle of the Hunter-Heart Break Show, and even though he's getting some worth out of Michaels, Hunter is keeping him down by refusing to butt out already. Will there be another match, the next Raw PPV, between just Michaels and Benoit? Hopefully, but the question is, will the two working together have worn thin in two months? Unfortunately, Benoit's introduction to the brand came at an awkward time, as far as Triple H and his ego is concerned.
But from the ashes of Hunter and his Evolution clique comes Shelton Benjamin, the real steal. He's getting an incredible push, nothing his one-time partner Charlie Haas will soon see on Smackdown. What is there for Haas, other than an indefinite holding pattern? Apparently US champion Cena is headed to a feud with Rene Dupree. But what do I know? Just that Benjamin is the greatest beneficiary of the recent redrafting, with only Booker T and Rob Van Dam as challengers. But those two have to reverse recent trends in their careers, not build their careers, like Benjamin. Which seems more likekly to be more fruitful? But what do I know?
Tajiri, meanwhile, was immediately tied into a backstage plot with has-beens Sylvin Grenier, Rob Conway, and Garrison Cade, three spring chickens who will probably never go anywhere (the first two formerly being French faction associates of the aforementioned Dupree). Rhyno got to trounce Lance Storm, who will never go anywhere even with all the on-air attempts to give the poor guy some sympathy. Would he better off on Smackdown, as he claimed? Probably. At the very least, he could team up with Hardcore Holly (back in ECW, Storm was an Impact Player, after all). The two are pretty much the same size, with the same prospects for career advancement (the feud Holly got with Brock Lesnar a few months back was payback for a broken neck). I would rather have seen Strom make the jump than, say, Spike Dudley or Teddy Long. But what do I know?
While pondering the continuing shoehorning of Evolution as far as handing Batista and Ric Flair the tag team titles (and screwing Benoit and Michaels this Monday night) goes, there's Chris Jericho's further feud with Christian and Trish Stratus to consider, and this thing has been going on for months. Just how much longer? How much longer until it's a career? But what do I know? A god long feud is good news, just as long as it isn't being used so long because the writers don't know what else to do with any of them...
The show ends with Benjamin's huge upset over Triple H. One of the best things Hunter used to do, back when he was in his first phase on dominance about four years ago, was give all of the talent a chance to wrestle him. He showed great respect to the locker back then. But starting about two years ago, his ego ran wild and then Evolution was introduced, and all he was was the champion who never loses, and holds the world title for huge stretches of time, to the annoyance of the fans, who turned on the scene's premier star because he didn't know his limits. But lately, I'd say starting with his feud against Goldberg late last year, he began to return to form, showing his willingness to give back, play along with the game instead of dominate it for the sake of dominance (wrestling used to thrive on that, but only as recently as twenty years ago, when Hogan went wild). He allowed himself to submit to the Crippler Crossface at the year's biggest event, and now has let himself be defeated by a relative neophyte. This is nothing but good news for him, and for Raw. The playing field has been leveled. Evolution's tag team victories might have more to do with the lack of actual tag team talent (I really wish that the Dudleys could have stuck around Raw, instead of pollute the equally lacking Smackdown tag team scene, where Scotty and Rikishi reign almost by default, and likely in appreciation for what they've brought to the table previously). While I must again say that splitting The World's Greatest Tag Team up at this time was probably a mistake, I must also reiterate that it was probably good for Benjamin and Haas' solo success, which might balance things out.
And anyway, Just Benjamin's moment alone makes the statement that the lottery screwed Smackdown in favor of Raw all the more potent. Why give Monday a star with such immediate potential? If Thursday is breeding ground, why give up the breeding star with some of the most potential, especially seeing as how it's just beginning to be tapped? The breeding star for veteran swap that was Benjamin for Booker is just unequal, unfair, uneven. I have nothing against Booker, but he doesn't, hasn't, and probably never will have the same cache as a Chris Jericho. And speaking of Jericho and what his feud with Christian could become, whatever happened to Scott Steiner and Test? Are they to be cut loose, rather than be given another chance? Has neither any continued worth, or are they just a few more of the squandered talent WWE likes to litter? Maybe Paul Heyman and his new ECW could use them. Or Jarrett's TNA?
All I know is, the lottery still has not lived up to the hype...Let's see what Thursday has to offer.
Friday, March 26, 2004
#72. Draft Fallout
First, a word about Paul Heyman. Apparently he's off to restart ECW, so the events of last Monday were all a put-on. Good luck to him, and it'll be good to see a real contender for competition against Vince McMahon's World Wrestling Empire, I mean Entertainment. This assuming I understand the situation correctly, and that this ECW really will be independent of WWE. Here's hoping.
Now let's get done to the meat and potatos. Triple H didn't leave Raw for Smackdown after all. I guess the prospect of a feud with Edge was too much for him. Anyhoo, last night we learned that in place of Hunter, Smackdown acquired Booker T and the Dudley Boyz. Booker T I like. He'll finally be able to do something again. He'll be reunited with Rob Van Dam hopefully only insofar as wrestling on the same brand, and if last night was any indication, they will deinitely be traveling down different roads. Right now Booker is getting pushed as competition for Eddie Guerrero's WWE title, as the biggest acquisition of the recent redrafting lottery. He really is, and since Triple H didn't make the lateral move as expected, he's only got Edge as a rival to that title. No one really big got traded, only some minor major wrestlers, riders of the cuff.
If you remember my Smackdown-to-waning-WCW-days analogy from a few entries back (when I feared Undertaker was headed toward Latterday Hogan Mode, which in all probability he may still), Booker is now right back where he started his biggest career push. The five-time five-time five-time WCW champion past his hype inevitably turns to is from the last few years of that company, when he, Scott Steiner, and Jeff Jarrett (plus Sid...and David Arquette) were the last company frontrunners. Steiner stayed on Raw (though I doubt it'll mean much for his career) and Jarrett is still running the show in his NWA-TNA (which I wish would get a regular show already, and not the weekly PPV gig it's currently got, so it could begin to fill the big league void left by WCW and ECW being swallowed by WWE three years ago; the prospect of a returning ECW goes hand-in-hand with this). But Booker is back to a brand that is not exactly seeing a golden era. I'm not saying Smackdown isn't worth watching, but I am saying it's suffering from a lack of consistency, much like the Boston Celtics this season.
Think about it. Brock Lesnar just left town. He was "The Next Big Thing," like Hogan reborn (um, with actual talent), and for the last year or so he was carrying Thursday night on his considerable shoulders. The Undertaker was one of those who kept him occupied, but he's getting on in years, is constantly plagued with injuries, and as such isn't really much more dependable than as a familiar face. The Big Show, who can thank Lesnar for his rebirth in relavancy, can only do so much, and is in fact in need of some downtime to nurse injuries of his own. I read that he wants time off but that the lack of big name talent on Smackdown led to the call that he really couldn't afford that at this time. Maybe Booker T's arrival changed that, maybe not.
Then there's Kurt Angle, who has been working his already tender neck ragid in his four years with WWE, already necessitating surgery once and I think, from some reports, only narrowly avoided again recently. He announced himself as the new Smackdown general manager last night, saying he's willing to sacrifice his own goals as a wrestler for the good of the show. Read between the lines and you'll find he's doing this for the betterment of his health, which is highly commendable. His role as a voice now was no doubt inspired by Steve Austin, who retired from the ring (permantly) last year and has been GM on Raw for months now. The fans still love him, so he gives them what they want, just not in the capacity as a wrestler. Shawn Michaels did that several years ago as well, until he apparently felt he was good enough to compete again on a regular basis. Angle will fight again, but for now he's an asset in this new role, just as a marque presence, if not in a singlet than in a suit, as a suit.
Speaking of suits, there's Bradshaw's character evolution, made possible by Ron "Farooq" Simmons at last retiring. I'm not really sure why Ron didn't walk away months ago, why when Bradshaw was first getting pushed as a singles wrestler again when he made his in-ring return last year complete with a short haircut (beginning to distance himself from his APA past already) they didn't do this right away. But I don't suppose it really matters. Bradshaw has always been a presence, but never really a factor in his own right, so it didn't really matter. I don't know how long exactly storylines cook up backstage, but it was a pretty good confluence for the step forward to be made when the brands were doing a little spring cleaning. More power to him, and I'd like to read his book, after Mick Foley's, of course.
Rene Dupree turned out to be an amusing acquisition. He might prove a useful addition. Rob Van Dam has the fans on his side, and he looked better than I remember him, though still a tad out of step with fluency and believability in the ring. He looks choppy, methodical in slightly the wrong sense, when he's executing maneuvers, bouncing around. But he's exciting, that much is obvious. That's why he's so well-loved. Spike Dudley, however, is not so much. He reminds me of someone who really wants to be a professional wrestler, who has all the moves down, but who would be better suited to one of the regional promotions across the country. He lacks the look, but I suppose he makes up for it in determination and a certain in-ring charisma that works off that determination, and like RVD explains where he is.
The Dudley Boyz, however, are doing exactly what they did four years ago, just without so many tables. They've developed a mystique, I guess, but they're so monotonous. Not very useful additions. Same with Teddy Long, who last night approached tag team champions Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty. If all he's going to do is act as a backstage personality, he's more a drain than an asset. His personality is lacking, limited. I think I'd rather have Ernest "The Cat" Miller acting in this capacity. Miller was around for a few months on Smackdown, but wasted the opportunity with a whole lot of nonsense posturing, dancing like he did in...WCW's waning days. You see where that'll take you, what kind of atmosphere that'll greet that sort of thing. I said Smackdown was in danger of heading in that direction, not that it had become that. And certainly, at the time Miller was telling people to call his mamma, it wasn't as close.
Did you see Mark Jindrak last night? I didn't. Oh great, another "developing prospect" for the brand, like his former partner Sean O'Haire. I'd rather see Orlando Jordan get to actually do something, and not just appear as a vaguely familiar face in the back, than give Jindrak a chance to go nowhere.
I wonder how Raw will fare with its newest stars. No doubt better. Charlie Haas looked good against RVD, better than I might have thought. Maybe splitting up the World's Greatest Tag Team was a good idea, but I still hate the fact that Shelton Benjamin went to the country filled with all the giants. Some might say that Raw better resembles WCW (in its better days) than any era in WWE, but when Booker T calls Smackdown the minor leagues I can't help but agree, there's a problem. I love Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, but they're not enough to elevate the show past the developing stage. It's hard not to call something that has to establish everything a minor league, even comparatively speaking.
Jarrett's TNA could almost be considered major league in comparison...
Now let's get done to the meat and potatos. Triple H didn't leave Raw for Smackdown after all. I guess the prospect of a feud with Edge was too much for him. Anyhoo, last night we learned that in place of Hunter, Smackdown acquired Booker T and the Dudley Boyz. Booker T I like. He'll finally be able to do something again. He'll be reunited with Rob Van Dam hopefully only insofar as wrestling on the same brand, and if last night was any indication, they will deinitely be traveling down different roads. Right now Booker is getting pushed as competition for Eddie Guerrero's WWE title, as the biggest acquisition of the recent redrafting lottery. He really is, and since Triple H didn't make the lateral move as expected, he's only got Edge as a rival to that title. No one really big got traded, only some minor major wrestlers, riders of the cuff.
If you remember my Smackdown-to-waning-WCW-days analogy from a few entries back (when I feared Undertaker was headed toward Latterday Hogan Mode, which in all probability he may still), Booker is now right back where he started his biggest career push. The five-time five-time five-time WCW champion past his hype inevitably turns to is from the last few years of that company, when he, Scott Steiner, and Jeff Jarrett (plus Sid...and David Arquette) were the last company frontrunners. Steiner stayed on Raw (though I doubt it'll mean much for his career) and Jarrett is still running the show in his NWA-TNA (which I wish would get a regular show already, and not the weekly PPV gig it's currently got, so it could begin to fill the big league void left by WCW and ECW being swallowed by WWE three years ago; the prospect of a returning ECW goes hand-in-hand with this). But Booker is back to a brand that is not exactly seeing a golden era. I'm not saying Smackdown isn't worth watching, but I am saying it's suffering from a lack of consistency, much like the Boston Celtics this season.
Think about it. Brock Lesnar just left town. He was "The Next Big Thing," like Hogan reborn (um, with actual talent), and for the last year or so he was carrying Thursday night on his considerable shoulders. The Undertaker was one of those who kept him occupied, but he's getting on in years, is constantly plagued with injuries, and as such isn't really much more dependable than as a familiar face. The Big Show, who can thank Lesnar for his rebirth in relavancy, can only do so much, and is in fact in need of some downtime to nurse injuries of his own. I read that he wants time off but that the lack of big name talent on Smackdown led to the call that he really couldn't afford that at this time. Maybe Booker T's arrival changed that, maybe not.
Then there's Kurt Angle, who has been working his already tender neck ragid in his four years with WWE, already necessitating surgery once and I think, from some reports, only narrowly avoided again recently. He announced himself as the new Smackdown general manager last night, saying he's willing to sacrifice his own goals as a wrestler for the good of the show. Read between the lines and you'll find he's doing this for the betterment of his health, which is highly commendable. His role as a voice now was no doubt inspired by Steve Austin, who retired from the ring (permantly) last year and has been GM on Raw for months now. The fans still love him, so he gives them what they want, just not in the capacity as a wrestler. Shawn Michaels did that several years ago as well, until he apparently felt he was good enough to compete again on a regular basis. Angle will fight again, but for now he's an asset in this new role, just as a marque presence, if not in a singlet than in a suit, as a suit.
Speaking of suits, there's Bradshaw's character evolution, made possible by Ron "Farooq" Simmons at last retiring. I'm not really sure why Ron didn't walk away months ago, why when Bradshaw was first getting pushed as a singles wrestler again when he made his in-ring return last year complete with a short haircut (beginning to distance himself from his APA past already) they didn't do this right away. But I don't suppose it really matters. Bradshaw has always been a presence, but never really a factor in his own right, so it didn't really matter. I don't know how long exactly storylines cook up backstage, but it was a pretty good confluence for the step forward to be made when the brands were doing a little spring cleaning. More power to him, and I'd like to read his book, after Mick Foley's, of course.
Rene Dupree turned out to be an amusing acquisition. He might prove a useful addition. Rob Van Dam has the fans on his side, and he looked better than I remember him, though still a tad out of step with fluency and believability in the ring. He looks choppy, methodical in slightly the wrong sense, when he's executing maneuvers, bouncing around. But he's exciting, that much is obvious. That's why he's so well-loved. Spike Dudley, however, is not so much. He reminds me of someone who really wants to be a professional wrestler, who has all the moves down, but who would be better suited to one of the regional promotions across the country. He lacks the look, but I suppose he makes up for it in determination and a certain in-ring charisma that works off that determination, and like RVD explains where he is.
The Dudley Boyz, however, are doing exactly what they did four years ago, just without so many tables. They've developed a mystique, I guess, but they're so monotonous. Not very useful additions. Same with Teddy Long, who last night approached tag team champions Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty. If all he's going to do is act as a backstage personality, he's more a drain than an asset. His personality is lacking, limited. I think I'd rather have Ernest "The Cat" Miller acting in this capacity. Miller was around for a few months on Smackdown, but wasted the opportunity with a whole lot of nonsense posturing, dancing like he did in...WCW's waning days. You see where that'll take you, what kind of atmosphere that'll greet that sort of thing. I said Smackdown was in danger of heading in that direction, not that it had become that. And certainly, at the time Miller was telling people to call his mamma, it wasn't as close.
Did you see Mark Jindrak last night? I didn't. Oh great, another "developing prospect" for the brand, like his former partner Sean O'Haire. I'd rather see Orlando Jordan get to actually do something, and not just appear as a vaguely familiar face in the back, than give Jindrak a chance to go nowhere.
I wonder how Raw will fare with its newest stars. No doubt better. Charlie Haas looked good against RVD, better than I might have thought. Maybe splitting up the World's Greatest Tag Team was a good idea, but I still hate the fact that Shelton Benjamin went to the country filled with all the giants. Some might say that Raw better resembles WCW (in its better days) than any era in WWE, but when Booker T calls Smackdown the minor leagues I can't help but agree, there's a problem. I love Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, but they're not enough to elevate the show past the developing stage. It's hard not to call something that has to establish everything a minor league, even comparatively speaking.
Jarrett's TNA could almost be considered major league in comparison...
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
#71. 2004 Raw/Smackdown Draft
Last Monday, or I guess it would be two Mondays ago now, on Raw, Vince MacMahon announced that there would be a new lottery to redraw the two WWE brands, Raw and Smackdown, to freshen things up a bit. So it went last night that...five wrestlers from Raw went to Smackdown, and vice versa.
What? Just five? And these five? That's what my reaction was. I was expecting something a little more radical. It might even have been such a headscratcher if the particular wrestlers chosen hadn't been who they turned out to be.
Rene Dupree, Mark Jindrak, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Teddy Long, and Spike Dudley make the move to Smackdown. Dupree and Jindrak are two wrestlers who are the kind of up-and-comers Smackdown has been ladened with for a year now. There's already Orlando Jordan waiting for some more action and breathing room. Dupree has exactly one thing going for him, and that's his French gimick, which without his partners in crime, Sylven Grenier and Rob Conway, makes me wonder if he's to develp something completely new now. Maybe I can deal with that. Jindrak doesn't have much going for him. Smackdown already has one former WCW 'Natural Born Thriller,' Chuck Palumbo, it's neglecting. Why take on another, especially one that I see very little future for, expect in the kind of tag team work he was doing on Raw? Sure, Smackdown has Jindrak's former NBT tag team partner Sean O'Haire, who last year began to develop a character and even had a working relationship with Roddy Piper going on. But O'Haire wrestled infrequently then, and hasn't really been seen since. They weren't much together then, so I wonder if the creative team is going to put them back together, or create something else for Jindrak to suck wind at. Spike Dudley will be another creative drain, being the kind of one-trick poney he's always been, and an unnecessary drain on the cruiserweight division, given that there's Paul London I'd rather see become better used. Is London even with WWE anymore? I mean, he was excluded from the WrestleMania open (which was thrown in favor of Chavo Guerrero inexplicably retaining, as I've whined about previously). I just dont' understand. And Teddy Long, what's he going to do on Smackdown? I have no idea, and very much doubt I'll be interested. He's not much of a dynamic presence...
Which brings me to the two useful Smackdown acquisitions. One's Rob Van Dam. I'm ambivalent about his prospects; you might have noticed that I'm not as wowed as others by his skills in the ring. But he does do a mean gorilla press. Anyhoo, which brings me to Triple H. My biggest fear is that he will soon supplant Eddie Guerrero for the WWE title, which will have made Hunter's humbling submission loss to Chris Benoit just an excuse to start another reign with another title. I don't know what's in store for him, but I'm wary. A particular reason I'll get to, but at least this opens the door to another feud with Kurt Angle, with whom Hunter had one of his better ones in the past.
Raw gained Shelton Benjamin, Nidia, Rhyno, Edge, Tajiri, and Paul Heyman. I'll say right now that it unequivocally got the better hand. Benjamin has better presence than his now ex-tag team partner in the World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas, and even got something of a push last week on Smackdown in a mini tournament. I don't see the logic in breaking the pair up at this stage in their careers, but at least they do get the chance to show their wares individually for a change (as a tag team, they'd been underused for months anyway). Maybe Benjamin can have a feud with IC champion Randy orton, or Christian (and conversely with Chris Jericho, I guess). Nidia, one of those Tough Enough winners who haven't been doing a lot of significant wrestling (actually, that'd be just about all of them, but I guess it's still early for such green performers), will finally be in contention for the women's title, which has been Raw exclusive for a year (to counter, barely, the cruiserweight title on Smackdown, though the difference has been narrowing of late). Rhyno, who has been making a career lately of jobbing to John Cena, might see his horizons broadened. Or he might suck Chris Benoit back into Dullsville, where the two suffered a year ago, mostly because they didn't know what to do with Benoit, and because Rhyno was returning from neck surgery, and they didn't know what to do with him either; hopefully that's changed. Tajiri I've always liked. I'm interested to see what becomes of him. He's being separated from the cruiserweights. Maybe that'll give Matt Hardy something meaningful to do. We'll see.
Raw's steals were Edge and Heyman. Edge is returning after more than a year gone due to neck surgery (shades of Rhyno...and Benoit...and Steve Austin...and Lita...and Scotty 2 Hotty...and Hardcore Holly...and Kurt Angle...), and could use the immediate hype showing up on a new show could deliver, although he was never around to do anything on Smackdown. I guess the point is that he won't be able to feud with Kurt Angle, with whom he had his most meaningful previously. So he has some new horizons. Paul Heyman, meanwhile, I really don't like seeing him go (did I mention I can watch Smackdown, but don't have cable so I can't watch Raw?), because I really liked him as an on-air personality. Why waste him on Raw, where all he's really going to do is butt heads with Eric Bischoff, the role Steve Austin's been filling for months now? Right now they're playing that he's quit rather than make the move. I can't be certain that it's a shoot until I see the results for next week's Raw, but it'd make sense to make a fuss over it, given his recent troubles with support on Smackdown. It's another "we'll see."
Furthermore, I don't like the uncertainty of the general manager role on Smackdown, which has been vacated with Heyman's redrafting (or whatever it is he's up to). Sure I'd love to see Austin on Thursday nights. I wouldn't complain. But what if it's Triple H's offscreen bouncing bride, Stephanie McMahon, who was the original Smackdown GM a year ago? I don't think I could put up with a lot more of her screaching...Or it could be someone else entirely, like a welcomely returning William Regal (though I wouldn't place bets on that).
I guess the point is, I'm not all that satisfied with the second brand draft. But it really hasn't had a chance to foment, so maybe some of that is in order.
What? Just five? And these five? That's what my reaction was. I was expecting something a little more radical. It might even have been such a headscratcher if the particular wrestlers chosen hadn't been who they turned out to be.
Rene Dupree, Mark Jindrak, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Teddy Long, and Spike Dudley make the move to Smackdown. Dupree and Jindrak are two wrestlers who are the kind of up-and-comers Smackdown has been ladened with for a year now. There's already Orlando Jordan waiting for some more action and breathing room. Dupree has exactly one thing going for him, and that's his French gimick, which without his partners in crime, Sylven Grenier and Rob Conway, makes me wonder if he's to develp something completely new now. Maybe I can deal with that. Jindrak doesn't have much going for him. Smackdown already has one former WCW 'Natural Born Thriller,' Chuck Palumbo, it's neglecting. Why take on another, especially one that I see very little future for, expect in the kind of tag team work he was doing on Raw? Sure, Smackdown has Jindrak's former NBT tag team partner Sean O'Haire, who last year began to develop a character and even had a working relationship with Roddy Piper going on. But O'Haire wrestled infrequently then, and hasn't really been seen since. They weren't much together then, so I wonder if the creative team is going to put them back together, or create something else for Jindrak to suck wind at. Spike Dudley will be another creative drain, being the kind of one-trick poney he's always been, and an unnecessary drain on the cruiserweight division, given that there's Paul London I'd rather see become better used. Is London even with WWE anymore? I mean, he was excluded from the WrestleMania open (which was thrown in favor of Chavo Guerrero inexplicably retaining, as I've whined about previously). I just dont' understand. And Teddy Long, what's he going to do on Smackdown? I have no idea, and very much doubt I'll be interested. He's not much of a dynamic presence...
Which brings me to the two useful Smackdown acquisitions. One's Rob Van Dam. I'm ambivalent about his prospects; you might have noticed that I'm not as wowed as others by his skills in the ring. But he does do a mean gorilla press. Anyhoo, which brings me to Triple H. My biggest fear is that he will soon supplant Eddie Guerrero for the WWE title, which will have made Hunter's humbling submission loss to Chris Benoit just an excuse to start another reign with another title. I don't know what's in store for him, but I'm wary. A particular reason I'll get to, but at least this opens the door to another feud with Kurt Angle, with whom Hunter had one of his better ones in the past.
Raw gained Shelton Benjamin, Nidia, Rhyno, Edge, Tajiri, and Paul Heyman. I'll say right now that it unequivocally got the better hand. Benjamin has better presence than his now ex-tag team partner in the World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas, and even got something of a push last week on Smackdown in a mini tournament. I don't see the logic in breaking the pair up at this stage in their careers, but at least they do get the chance to show their wares individually for a change (as a tag team, they'd been underused for months anyway). Maybe Benjamin can have a feud with IC champion Randy orton, or Christian (and conversely with Chris Jericho, I guess). Nidia, one of those Tough Enough winners who haven't been doing a lot of significant wrestling (actually, that'd be just about all of them, but I guess it's still early for such green performers), will finally be in contention for the women's title, which has been Raw exclusive for a year (to counter, barely, the cruiserweight title on Smackdown, though the difference has been narrowing of late). Rhyno, who has been making a career lately of jobbing to John Cena, might see his horizons broadened. Or he might suck Chris Benoit back into Dullsville, where the two suffered a year ago, mostly because they didn't know what to do with Benoit, and because Rhyno was returning from neck surgery, and they didn't know what to do with him either; hopefully that's changed. Tajiri I've always liked. I'm interested to see what becomes of him. He's being separated from the cruiserweights. Maybe that'll give Matt Hardy something meaningful to do. We'll see.
Raw's steals were Edge and Heyman. Edge is returning after more than a year gone due to neck surgery (shades of Rhyno...and Benoit...and Steve Austin...and Lita...and Scotty 2 Hotty...and Hardcore Holly...and Kurt Angle...), and could use the immediate hype showing up on a new show could deliver, although he was never around to do anything on Smackdown. I guess the point is that he won't be able to feud with Kurt Angle, with whom he had his most meaningful previously. So he has some new horizons. Paul Heyman, meanwhile, I really don't like seeing him go (did I mention I can watch Smackdown, but don't have cable so I can't watch Raw?), because I really liked him as an on-air personality. Why waste him on Raw, where all he's really going to do is butt heads with Eric Bischoff, the role Steve Austin's been filling for months now? Right now they're playing that he's quit rather than make the move. I can't be certain that it's a shoot until I see the results for next week's Raw, but it'd make sense to make a fuss over it, given his recent troubles with support on Smackdown. It's another "we'll see."
Furthermore, I don't like the uncertainty of the general manager role on Smackdown, which has been vacated with Heyman's redrafting (or whatever it is he's up to). Sure I'd love to see Austin on Thursday nights. I wouldn't complain. But what if it's Triple H's offscreen bouncing bride, Stephanie McMahon, who was the original Smackdown GM a year ago? I don't think I could put up with a lot more of her screaching...Or it could be someone else entirely, like a welcomely returning William Regal (though I wouldn't place bets on that).
I guess the point is, I'm not all that satisfied with the second brand draft. But it really hasn't had a chance to foment, so maybe some of that is in order.
Monday, March 15, 2004
#70. WrestleMania XX Results
Well, as it turns out, not only was it Goldberg's final night, but Brock Lesnar's as well. Lesnar wants to pursue football. He's young yet, I suppose. And the match wasn't slated for the main event, and the fans didn't really care much for it (maybe since both competitors were on their way out). Undertaker, who returned, seems to be headed to the Dominant Slot on Smackdown, and Smackdown is headed toward Late WCW Country. Shame that this is when Eddie Guerraro is champion...
But now Chris Benoit is champion, too. That's a good thing, like a return to the Bret Hart days. What ain't a good thing is that Chris Jericho was once again screwed. Jericho and The Rock have a lot in common, actually. They both get the shaft more often than not, but maintain fan interest in spite of it, only The Rock is a media favorite and Jericho isn't, and so it hurts Jericho's future prospects more and more each time it happens. This was the biggest night of the year, and the writers decided that it would be a good time...to push forth story developments. Four years ago at WrestleMania 2000 Triple H got the win over The Rock in a fatal four way, which I thought was another crummy ending. The Rock I don't think ever really recovered, and soon went off to pursue film roles, which he's concentrated more and more on. Last night he and Mick Foley lost to Randy Orton (plus the backup of Batista and Ric Flair, who at least got a win at this event for a change, even if it had nothing to do with him). Orton and his Smackdown equivalent, John Cena, both got the wins, and so did Christian, making it a time for the young, I guess, as well as a time for the old (The Undertaker), and guys who have been around but only now started to get somewhere (Benoit, Eddie Guerraro). Then there was Chavo Guerraro, who got the win over Rey Mysterio, who now has consecutive losses at the event to wrestlers who're being pushed and really shouldn't be ahead of him. Matt Hardy is going to be fading more and more. Why is Chavo getting this push? In appreciation of all the years he did stuff and didn't really get anything to show for it? Is that was this is? A token gesture? Is that the current era?
Speaking of token gestures, Rob Van Dam got his victory as well. Ooh! With Lesnar out of the way, RVD can reclaim the top slot in the PWI 500 now!
Sorry, I'm just in a bitter mood right now...Last night should have been unbelievable. Instead, it was pretty much unbelievable. Cudos to Benoit and Eddie Guerraro. They deserve it. It's the rest of the roster that needs something now. Like a swift kick in the pants. Cena could provide it, and it looks like hes being looked on favorably, but he still has a ways to go before he reaches a point where he could properly call himself heavyweight championship calibur. Is Christian going anywhere, besides this feud with Jericho? The cynic in me says no. He's Scott Steiner/Test Redux, and he's dragging Y2J down with him. Undertaker is back again, and maybe he's the next Smackdown champion. No excitement there. Lesnar is gone. There's hope that he will return one day. Goldberg is gone. There's hope he'll return one day. Triple H has a feud with Edge most likely on the horizon...
Ah...I thought last night was supposed to be inspiring or something...Let's just hope that Sid Vicious doesn't rear his ugly head...
But now Chris Benoit is champion, too. That's a good thing, like a return to the Bret Hart days. What ain't a good thing is that Chris Jericho was once again screwed. Jericho and The Rock have a lot in common, actually. They both get the shaft more often than not, but maintain fan interest in spite of it, only The Rock is a media favorite and Jericho isn't, and so it hurts Jericho's future prospects more and more each time it happens. This was the biggest night of the year, and the writers decided that it would be a good time...to push forth story developments. Four years ago at WrestleMania 2000 Triple H got the win over The Rock in a fatal four way, which I thought was another crummy ending. The Rock I don't think ever really recovered, and soon went off to pursue film roles, which he's concentrated more and more on. Last night he and Mick Foley lost to Randy Orton (plus the backup of Batista and Ric Flair, who at least got a win at this event for a change, even if it had nothing to do with him). Orton and his Smackdown equivalent, John Cena, both got the wins, and so did Christian, making it a time for the young, I guess, as well as a time for the old (The Undertaker), and guys who have been around but only now started to get somewhere (Benoit, Eddie Guerraro). Then there was Chavo Guerraro, who got the win over Rey Mysterio, who now has consecutive losses at the event to wrestlers who're being pushed and really shouldn't be ahead of him. Matt Hardy is going to be fading more and more. Why is Chavo getting this push? In appreciation of all the years he did stuff and didn't really get anything to show for it? Is that was this is? A token gesture? Is that the current era?
Speaking of token gestures, Rob Van Dam got his victory as well. Ooh! With Lesnar out of the way, RVD can reclaim the top slot in the PWI 500 now!
Sorry, I'm just in a bitter mood right now...Last night should have been unbelievable. Instead, it was pretty much unbelievable. Cudos to Benoit and Eddie Guerraro. They deserve it. It's the rest of the roster that needs something now. Like a swift kick in the pants. Cena could provide it, and it looks like hes being looked on favorably, but he still has a ways to go before he reaches a point where he could properly call himself heavyweight championship calibur. Is Christian going anywhere, besides this feud with Jericho? The cynic in me says no. He's Scott Steiner/Test Redux, and he's dragging Y2J down with him. Undertaker is back again, and maybe he's the next Smackdown champion. No excitement there. Lesnar is gone. There's hope that he will return one day. Goldberg is gone. There's hope he'll return one day. Triple H has a feud with Edge most likely on the horizon...
Ah...I thought last night was supposed to be inspiring or something...Let's just hope that Sid Vicious doesn't rear his ugly head...
Sunday, March 07, 2004
#69. PWI 500, WrestleMania XX
WrestleMania XX is a week away and there are still matches on the card and rumored to be waiting for discussion. Without further adieu...
In 2002 Pro Wrestling Illustrated crowned Rob Van Dam the top wrestler in its annual PWI 500 ranking. In '97, Dean Melanko had managed a similar feat, of being a seemingly non-marque superstar and still attaining this honor, but the reasoning then was that the Man of a Thousand Holds had stood out in a crowded pack. It was an acknowledged upset. This was the year previous to Stone Cold Steve Austin's rise (and subsequent consecutive no. 1 rankings on the 500 in '98 and '99). So what about RVD? How did he manage it, when the same year Chris Jericho was basking in his unified title reign (which he lost to Triple H at WrestleMania in a foregone conclusion; this was Hunter's drumline to dominance for the next several years, which has continued to the present), among other notable accomplishments by superstars just in WWE alone? The answer is simple. RVD has a laid-back persona and incredible flexibility that make up in charisma points whatever he loses in unrefined ring skills and general lack of mic capability. The fans love to watch him roll around the ring, splash people, and points to himself as he mouths "RVD." "Real" fans, the Internet's offical armchair grapplers, and printed page pundits, they all consider him more than worthy to have a run at the heavyweight title that Triple H dominates. Back in the WCW/ECW Invasion angle of 2001, RVD was getting some of the loudest pops (audience approval) of the incoming wrestlers, but was never really given a role to match it. He was never even taken seriously for a heavyweight championship match, despite all this love. In 2002 he accomplished the same kind of minor feats he'd been enjoying since he arrived (I think his biggest claim to fame championship-wise is the distinction of being the longest reigning ECW TV champion, which at one point had him written up in a PWI 500 top ten appearance as having been the last one in living memory, while he still held it). He got named to the top spot without having done anything major, without, it could be argued, earning it. And WWE just kept giving him nothing much to do. The complaint was that he was being held down in favor of Triple H as champion (Hunter having his own say, since he has had a relationship with the boss's daughter for about five years now, and that's culminated in marriage).
The point being? He's never made a decent WrestleMania appearance. This alone is not the big. He recently lost the Intercontinental championship to Randy Orton, an up-and-comer who happens to be aligned with Triple H. He's a champion right now, however, tag team with Booker T (another victim, of a different kind, of the WCW Invasion), but he's stuck in a swamped match at the year's biggest event (well, he didn't even make it last year, so it's a step up) with La Resistance, who will never go anywhere on the Anti-American platform they're stuck on, and rookies Mark Jindrak (actually a veteran of WCW's final days) and Garrison Cade, plus either Val Venis and Lance Storm (oooooh) or the Dudley Boys (who have sorta outstayed their welcome), depending on the outcome of a Heat match. Not exactly a match filled with prestige. Will he still be considered a great wrestler held down by the man (or Tha Man, if you consider Goldberg's successful feud with Triple H)? Of course. He might even leave, as Goldberg is rumored to after next Sunday, soon, as other rumors have put it. I hope he hasn't stuck around for this, however lucrative it is for his standing with PWI. His supporters say he wrestles to the level of his competitor. What does that really say?
Okay, speaking of Orton, he's in a match, too, and he's being swamped. But he's on his way up. This is his first WrestleMania, and he's the star of his Evolution team of himself, Batista, and Ric Flair (Batista and Flair being padding) who will face Mick Foley and The Rock. Orton and Foley have been working hard for months now to establish this match. I suspect there's so much padding because Foley can't really wrestle anymore (years of self-sacrificing bumps as the King of Hardcore did that) and, well, because it's Orton's first really big match. Make him look good, in other words. I remember when he was on Smackdown (as opposed to Raw), as he and John Cena were flailing about without the personas they're both developed now. They were not much to see then, and now they're looking to be the future of WWE, starting from a little higher than the ground up. It's been done before, by Steve Austin, The Rock, and Triple H (who jobbed big time to the Ultimate Warrior in '96, and look where they both are now). Will Ric Flair finally record a WrestleMania win? Hmm. Well, the Rock and Sock Connection is back. Maybe, maybe not.
Smackdown has its own mishmash tag team match in the works, mostly because it, too, doesn't have any one team that's running a very dominant show. Current champions Scotty 2 Hotty and Rikishi, whom many disparage because they'll never go much further over the fact that one does a move called the Worm that is probably more popular than he is and the other does the Stink Face, which is just notorious. I love Scotty, but he's been relegated to a featured player for so long, he will never go anywhere beyond that (I'm fearing the same thing with Fred Armisan on SNL, and even his starring role in the "Eurotrip" ads might not soon save him). They look to face the APA (Smackdown's answer to the Dudleys), the Bashams (developing heels), and The World's Greatest Tag Team (developing faces). It's really the Bashams and TWGTT's match to lose, because they have the most to. I'm pulling for Benjamin and Haas, who totally deserve it, and a resulting feud with the Bashams and maybe the APA (if the promo they cut Thursday on Smackdown has any indication).
Women's champion Victoria and challenger Molly have been working on developing heat and anticipation, which might be a first for two women's competitors not being pushed as mere sexpots. A welcome development. The other match featuring WWE "divas" is a promotion for the recent Torrie Wilson/Sable Playboy appearance, in which they square off against Miss Jackie and Stacy Keibler (who has made it clear in the past she never intends to pose for the magazine, so making a storyline that claims she did is less than credible and clearly aimed for less noble ends, if that makes sense). It should be noted that none of these girls has been doing much besides this lately. Stacy comes closest, but the two men who were fighting over her months ago, Test and Scott Steiner, aren't currently on the card themselves. Maybe they'll pull a cameo in this match, and further erode their credility. I know Test can't sink much lower without WWE still claiming to be using him. Whatever potential he once had, has long been squandered. He's the hushed corner version of RVD, and one-time courterer of the boss's daughter (who opened the door for Triple H and was never really thanked for it, unless his lingering in mediocrity was that, no thanks).
There's a match with spoiler potential on the card, and it's Smackdown's Cruiserweight Open, in which current champion Chavo Guerraro defends his title against all the little guys who are fit to enter. That means a whole lot of underappreciated Smackdown stars, including Rey Mysterio, Tajiri, Jamie Noble, and Paul London, who lack charisma on the mic but more than make up for it in the ring. Maybe Raw's Matt Hardy, who might now be regretting making the jump, might even show up. He wrestled Mysterio over the title last year at the same event, and at this time has nothing on his plate for the historic card. How far he fell. He would likely have been guaranteed something, maybe even a one-one one encounter with Chavo (which would have squeazed out Mysterio, but we digress...again).
One last (possible) match in this rambling commentary. Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon. Boy does this sound good on paper. They've been rivals on paper since WCW was winning the Monday Night Wars with its nWo freshness. Neither is really much in the ring, but just the thought-that-counts feeling it musters would put it over. Vince has developed himself the ultimate heel persona. It'd be a shame to waste it here.
Well then. One more week.
In 2002 Pro Wrestling Illustrated crowned Rob Van Dam the top wrestler in its annual PWI 500 ranking. In '97, Dean Melanko had managed a similar feat, of being a seemingly non-marque superstar and still attaining this honor, but the reasoning then was that the Man of a Thousand Holds had stood out in a crowded pack. It was an acknowledged upset. This was the year previous to Stone Cold Steve Austin's rise (and subsequent consecutive no. 1 rankings on the 500 in '98 and '99). So what about RVD? How did he manage it, when the same year Chris Jericho was basking in his unified title reign (which he lost to Triple H at WrestleMania in a foregone conclusion; this was Hunter's drumline to dominance for the next several years, which has continued to the present), among other notable accomplishments by superstars just in WWE alone? The answer is simple. RVD has a laid-back persona and incredible flexibility that make up in charisma points whatever he loses in unrefined ring skills and general lack of mic capability. The fans love to watch him roll around the ring, splash people, and points to himself as he mouths "RVD." "Real" fans, the Internet's offical armchair grapplers, and printed page pundits, they all consider him more than worthy to have a run at the heavyweight title that Triple H dominates. Back in the WCW/ECW Invasion angle of 2001, RVD was getting some of the loudest pops (audience approval) of the incoming wrestlers, but was never really given a role to match it. He was never even taken seriously for a heavyweight championship match, despite all this love. In 2002 he accomplished the same kind of minor feats he'd been enjoying since he arrived (I think his biggest claim to fame championship-wise is the distinction of being the longest reigning ECW TV champion, which at one point had him written up in a PWI 500 top ten appearance as having been the last one in living memory, while he still held it). He got named to the top spot without having done anything major, without, it could be argued, earning it. And WWE just kept giving him nothing much to do. The complaint was that he was being held down in favor of Triple H as champion (Hunter having his own say, since he has had a relationship with the boss's daughter for about five years now, and that's culminated in marriage).
The point being? He's never made a decent WrestleMania appearance. This alone is not the big. He recently lost the Intercontinental championship to Randy Orton, an up-and-comer who happens to be aligned with Triple H. He's a champion right now, however, tag team with Booker T (another victim, of a different kind, of the WCW Invasion), but he's stuck in a swamped match at the year's biggest event (well, he didn't even make it last year, so it's a step up) with La Resistance, who will never go anywhere on the Anti-American platform they're stuck on, and rookies Mark Jindrak (actually a veteran of WCW's final days) and Garrison Cade, plus either Val Venis and Lance Storm (oooooh) or the Dudley Boys (who have sorta outstayed their welcome), depending on the outcome of a Heat match. Not exactly a match filled with prestige. Will he still be considered a great wrestler held down by the man (or Tha Man, if you consider Goldberg's successful feud with Triple H)? Of course. He might even leave, as Goldberg is rumored to after next Sunday, soon, as other rumors have put it. I hope he hasn't stuck around for this, however lucrative it is for his standing with PWI. His supporters say he wrestles to the level of his competitor. What does that really say?
Okay, speaking of Orton, he's in a match, too, and he's being swamped. But he's on his way up. This is his first WrestleMania, and he's the star of his Evolution team of himself, Batista, and Ric Flair (Batista and Flair being padding) who will face Mick Foley and The Rock. Orton and Foley have been working hard for months now to establish this match. I suspect there's so much padding because Foley can't really wrestle anymore (years of self-sacrificing bumps as the King of Hardcore did that) and, well, because it's Orton's first really big match. Make him look good, in other words. I remember when he was on Smackdown (as opposed to Raw), as he and John Cena were flailing about without the personas they're both developed now. They were not much to see then, and now they're looking to be the future of WWE, starting from a little higher than the ground up. It's been done before, by Steve Austin, The Rock, and Triple H (who jobbed big time to the Ultimate Warrior in '96, and look where they both are now). Will Ric Flair finally record a WrestleMania win? Hmm. Well, the Rock and Sock Connection is back. Maybe, maybe not.
Smackdown has its own mishmash tag team match in the works, mostly because it, too, doesn't have any one team that's running a very dominant show. Current champions Scotty 2 Hotty and Rikishi, whom many disparage because they'll never go much further over the fact that one does a move called the Worm that is probably more popular than he is and the other does the Stink Face, which is just notorious. I love Scotty, but he's been relegated to a featured player for so long, he will never go anywhere beyond that (I'm fearing the same thing with Fred Armisan on SNL, and even his starring role in the "Eurotrip" ads might not soon save him). They look to face the APA (Smackdown's answer to the Dudleys), the Bashams (developing heels), and The World's Greatest Tag Team (developing faces). It's really the Bashams and TWGTT's match to lose, because they have the most to. I'm pulling for Benjamin and Haas, who totally deserve it, and a resulting feud with the Bashams and maybe the APA (if the promo they cut Thursday on Smackdown has any indication).
Women's champion Victoria and challenger Molly have been working on developing heat and anticipation, which might be a first for two women's competitors not being pushed as mere sexpots. A welcome development. The other match featuring WWE "divas" is a promotion for the recent Torrie Wilson/Sable Playboy appearance, in which they square off against Miss Jackie and Stacy Keibler (who has made it clear in the past she never intends to pose for the magazine, so making a storyline that claims she did is less than credible and clearly aimed for less noble ends, if that makes sense). It should be noted that none of these girls has been doing much besides this lately. Stacy comes closest, but the two men who were fighting over her months ago, Test and Scott Steiner, aren't currently on the card themselves. Maybe they'll pull a cameo in this match, and further erode their credility. I know Test can't sink much lower without WWE still claiming to be using him. Whatever potential he once had, has long been squandered. He's the hushed corner version of RVD, and one-time courterer of the boss's daughter (who opened the door for Triple H and was never really thanked for it, unless his lingering in mediocrity was that, no thanks).
There's a match with spoiler potential on the card, and it's Smackdown's Cruiserweight Open, in which current champion Chavo Guerraro defends his title against all the little guys who are fit to enter. That means a whole lot of underappreciated Smackdown stars, including Rey Mysterio, Tajiri, Jamie Noble, and Paul London, who lack charisma on the mic but more than make up for it in the ring. Maybe Raw's Matt Hardy, who might now be regretting making the jump, might even show up. He wrestled Mysterio over the title last year at the same event, and at this time has nothing on his plate for the historic card. How far he fell. He would likely have been guaranteed something, maybe even a one-one one encounter with Chavo (which would have squeazed out Mysterio, but we digress...again).
One last (possible) match in this rambling commentary. Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon. Boy does this sound good on paper. They've been rivals on paper since WCW was winning the Monday Night Wars with its nWo freshness. Neither is really much in the ring, but just the thought-that-counts feeling it musters would put it over. Vince has developed himself the ultimate heel persona. It'd be a shame to waste it here.
Well then. One more week.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
#68. WrestleMania XX Preview
It's been a few months again, hasn't it? At any rate, WrestleMania 20 will be here in a scant few weeks, and the card is looking every bit as good as it should, given the occasion.
Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar
This is no huge surprise, as WWE has been building toward this since Royal Rumble in January, even earlier, if you count the encounter at Survivor Series from around the time I last wrote here. The parallels between their careers is unmistakable. What else was Goldberg in his WCW days than the Next Big Thing? What WWE did differently with Lesnar was allow him to lose a little more often, demystifying the mystique they built around him right away. You can be a dominant star and still lose. Maybe it has something to do witn Goldberg's ego. I can't really say. Nevertheless, the two are headed toward a collision, and I'm not sure who they're setting up to win this one. This is a good thing. Goldberg is a Raw superstar. He's just about the only wrestler on that roster who has been able to put chinks in Triple H's armor, although he hasn't done much beyond that (last summer, before that feud got underway, there was talk WWE was so upset at Goldberg's underperformance that they were pinning their woes on him). The big question for him now is this: has he proven that he merits the hype? Is his match against Lesnar a test? Win or lose, where does he go from here? Back to Raw, jump ship to Smackdown? For Lesnar, this match is testemant to where he is, without question. He's making his second WrestleMania appearance, after starring in it last year (and unfortunately, his signature was a botched moonsault). This match could be considered the main event (I'll get back to this later). He's proven that he can get booked to a match on the biggest card and that match not be over a title. And on top of that, like I said, it's pretty much the main event. I think Hulk Hogan did that once, though his big match was against Sid Vicious. Sid did a few things in the years following, but when he was WCW champion no one was taking much pride in that (witness Chris Benoit, but I'll get back to that, too). Anyway, for Lesnar, this is nothing to sweat about. This proves he's made it. For Goldberg, it very well could be a different story. But the two of them together equals, no matter where they are, one of the biggest encounters at WrestleMania since probably Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. I'm talking about both competitors being at the same level (from whichever direction). Shawn Michaels was just getting to the top of the heap in '96 when he took part in the epic iron man match against Bret Hart; that's the last match I think would compare. Steve Austin and The Rock's matches are the next best things, but nobody ever claimed The Rock was dominant in the ring. He might have been, and still is, many things in WWE and beyond, but he was never pushed as the greatest wrestler of the day.
Okay, moving on...
Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit
This is for Raw's world title, and it's without a doutb Triple H's biggest challenge at WrestleMania yet. Either one of the competitors would have made it that, but both of them puts the match off the charts. Yet I wouldn't call it main event material simply because it's been blunted like that, made into a triangle match. Benoit, who should have been at the point by now where he wouldn't have to depend on someone else to bulster one of his matches (after more than a year's past classic Royal Rumble encounter with Kurt Angle, has been a world champion, just before he left WCW for WWE some four years ago (he defeated Sid for it). And he's proven time and again he's one of the best if not the best wrestler working in America today, in terms of technical skills if not bravado. It's precisely because he lacks bravado that he's been kept back all these years, and because he lacks the prestige of Triple H or Shawn Michaels that he needs them both to be allowed into such a forum as a world title bout at WrestleMania. Last year he was involved in an inconsequential tag team match, this just three months after his match with Angle. This will be the fourth time Michaels competes for a world title belt on the year's biggest card (there were the Kevin Nash, Hart, and Austin encounters previously), and first in over half a dozen years. He's worked hard to get back to this point. You can go see his effort last year against Chris Jericho at WrestleMania for evidence. he and Triple H have been friends and foes for years now. They just had a match against each other at Royal Rumble. Triple H more than deserves to be up here, dominating Raw as he has been for over a year now. And so does Michaels. And definitely so does Benoit. But all together? I don't know. Benoit jumped ship from Smackdown to get here. Should he have?
Eddie Guerarro vs. Kurt Angle
This is the match that resulted from Benoit going to Raw. It enabled Guerarro, equally worthy of finally entering the spotlight, to defeat Brock Lesnar last month for the Smackdown title and set up an obvious match with Angle, who for months had been working as an intermediary for no particular reason between Eddie and his cousin Chavo. This match could be seen from more than a mile back. It's the stage it was to take, the forum, that took me by surprise, though not after Benoit skipped over to Raw. I saw it coming. I've been following wrestling for over a decade now (it was WrestleMania 10 that took place when I was really getting into it). Guerarro and Angle are two of the better wrestlers I've seen in all that time. Angle lost the title a year ago when he needed neck surgery, which put into doutb how good a match he could put on against Lesnar, an encounter many had salivated over given the two's similar amateur backgrounds. This time Angle's victory would seem a synch, but they've just set him up on television as the heel. Not too many of those have come out on top at WrestleMania, and most of them were Triple H. Eddie deserves this run, and a month as champion seemed to be the most he could ask for. It's not a matter of how long he could last as champion, but how long the brass would allow him to go. Right now it seems the confidence is high for Latino Heat. He benefits from the kind of charisma Benoit lacks. The fans love him. Is this main event material? Even with Eddie so deserving and such a crowd pleaser, he's not at the level where you'd pin such a task on him. Maybe this is a stepping stone. Or maybe Goldber/Lesnar really is the main event.
There are a few other match-ups worth mentioning. The nonfighting Smackdown US champion Big Show stands for perhaps his greatest singles showing at WrestleMania when he takes on John Cena, who has been getting a generous push for quite some time now without actually going anywhere. Cena should win this, and thankfully he's reached a point in the ring where he deserves it. As far as I know, this match hasn't been declared yet (I don't get Raw, as I don't get cable, and so these developments are made aware to me on delay), but Christian and Chris Jericho should be meeting each other in the ring. This is not much news for Jericho. He was undisputed champion a few years back, but has struggled to follow that up with anything else. He gave a good fight to Michaels last year, but was denied the crucial victory. If not for that (and possibly Triple H and Goldberg, and maybe even Chris Benoit), he'd without a doubt being having a bigger match than this. But it's a good thing for Christian, who could use a good singles fight to elevate his status. If I got what I wanted, Jericho would land at Smackdown following this PPV, and Edge would finally return and maybe go to Raw like it has been speculated, and I would be fine with that. There's also Undertaker's return, as the Dead Man once again, and he should have a good match with Kane (a WrestleMania rematch, in fact), since Kane has improved exponentially in the past year as a presence in the ring, since he lost his mask and truly became a monster, as he was supposed to be all along.
In nonwrestling news, I've begun to soften my view of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. There's more to great achievements than just the trappings of writing and specific storytelling ability. He gave us a grand vision. Sometimes that's all you can ask for. Good for him and his Academy Awards accolades.
Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar
This is no huge surprise, as WWE has been building toward this since Royal Rumble in January, even earlier, if you count the encounter at Survivor Series from around the time I last wrote here. The parallels between their careers is unmistakable. What else was Goldberg in his WCW days than the Next Big Thing? What WWE did differently with Lesnar was allow him to lose a little more often, demystifying the mystique they built around him right away. You can be a dominant star and still lose. Maybe it has something to do witn Goldberg's ego. I can't really say. Nevertheless, the two are headed toward a collision, and I'm not sure who they're setting up to win this one. This is a good thing. Goldberg is a Raw superstar. He's just about the only wrestler on that roster who has been able to put chinks in Triple H's armor, although he hasn't done much beyond that (last summer, before that feud got underway, there was talk WWE was so upset at Goldberg's underperformance that they were pinning their woes on him). The big question for him now is this: has he proven that he merits the hype? Is his match against Lesnar a test? Win or lose, where does he go from here? Back to Raw, jump ship to Smackdown? For Lesnar, this match is testemant to where he is, without question. He's making his second WrestleMania appearance, after starring in it last year (and unfortunately, his signature was a botched moonsault). This match could be considered the main event (I'll get back to this later). He's proven that he can get booked to a match on the biggest card and that match not be over a title. And on top of that, like I said, it's pretty much the main event. I think Hulk Hogan did that once, though his big match was against Sid Vicious. Sid did a few things in the years following, but when he was WCW champion no one was taking much pride in that (witness Chris Benoit, but I'll get back to that, too). Anyway, for Lesnar, this is nothing to sweat about. This proves he's made it. For Goldberg, it very well could be a different story. But the two of them together equals, no matter where they are, one of the biggest encounters at WrestleMania since probably Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. I'm talking about both competitors being at the same level (from whichever direction). Shawn Michaels was just getting to the top of the heap in '96 when he took part in the epic iron man match against Bret Hart; that's the last match I think would compare. Steve Austin and The Rock's matches are the next best things, but nobody ever claimed The Rock was dominant in the ring. He might have been, and still is, many things in WWE and beyond, but he was never pushed as the greatest wrestler of the day.
Okay, moving on...
Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit
This is for Raw's world title, and it's without a doutb Triple H's biggest challenge at WrestleMania yet. Either one of the competitors would have made it that, but both of them puts the match off the charts. Yet I wouldn't call it main event material simply because it's been blunted like that, made into a triangle match. Benoit, who should have been at the point by now where he wouldn't have to depend on someone else to bulster one of his matches (after more than a year's past classic Royal Rumble encounter with Kurt Angle, has been a world champion, just before he left WCW for WWE some four years ago (he defeated Sid for it). And he's proven time and again he's one of the best if not the best wrestler working in America today, in terms of technical skills if not bravado. It's precisely because he lacks bravado that he's been kept back all these years, and because he lacks the prestige of Triple H or Shawn Michaels that he needs them both to be allowed into such a forum as a world title bout at WrestleMania. Last year he was involved in an inconsequential tag team match, this just three months after his match with Angle. This will be the fourth time Michaels competes for a world title belt on the year's biggest card (there were the Kevin Nash, Hart, and Austin encounters previously), and first in over half a dozen years. He's worked hard to get back to this point. You can go see his effort last year against Chris Jericho at WrestleMania for evidence. he and Triple H have been friends and foes for years now. They just had a match against each other at Royal Rumble. Triple H more than deserves to be up here, dominating Raw as he has been for over a year now. And so does Michaels. And definitely so does Benoit. But all together? I don't know. Benoit jumped ship from Smackdown to get here. Should he have?
Eddie Guerarro vs. Kurt Angle
This is the match that resulted from Benoit going to Raw. It enabled Guerarro, equally worthy of finally entering the spotlight, to defeat Brock Lesnar last month for the Smackdown title and set up an obvious match with Angle, who for months had been working as an intermediary for no particular reason between Eddie and his cousin Chavo. This match could be seen from more than a mile back. It's the stage it was to take, the forum, that took me by surprise, though not after Benoit skipped over to Raw. I saw it coming. I've been following wrestling for over a decade now (it was WrestleMania 10 that took place when I was really getting into it). Guerarro and Angle are two of the better wrestlers I've seen in all that time. Angle lost the title a year ago when he needed neck surgery, which put into doutb how good a match he could put on against Lesnar, an encounter many had salivated over given the two's similar amateur backgrounds. This time Angle's victory would seem a synch, but they've just set him up on television as the heel. Not too many of those have come out on top at WrestleMania, and most of them were Triple H. Eddie deserves this run, and a month as champion seemed to be the most he could ask for. It's not a matter of how long he could last as champion, but how long the brass would allow him to go. Right now it seems the confidence is high for Latino Heat. He benefits from the kind of charisma Benoit lacks. The fans love him. Is this main event material? Even with Eddie so deserving and such a crowd pleaser, he's not at the level where you'd pin such a task on him. Maybe this is a stepping stone. Or maybe Goldber/Lesnar really is the main event.
There are a few other match-ups worth mentioning. The nonfighting Smackdown US champion Big Show stands for perhaps his greatest singles showing at WrestleMania when he takes on John Cena, who has been getting a generous push for quite some time now without actually going anywhere. Cena should win this, and thankfully he's reached a point in the ring where he deserves it. As far as I know, this match hasn't been declared yet (I don't get Raw, as I don't get cable, and so these developments are made aware to me on delay), but Christian and Chris Jericho should be meeting each other in the ring. This is not much news for Jericho. He was undisputed champion a few years back, but has struggled to follow that up with anything else. He gave a good fight to Michaels last year, but was denied the crucial victory. If not for that (and possibly Triple H and Goldberg, and maybe even Chris Benoit), he'd without a doubt being having a bigger match than this. But it's a good thing for Christian, who could use a good singles fight to elevate his status. If I got what I wanted, Jericho would land at Smackdown following this PPV, and Edge would finally return and maybe go to Raw like it has been speculated, and I would be fine with that. There's also Undertaker's return, as the Dead Man once again, and he should have a good match with Kane (a WrestleMania rematch, in fact), since Kane has improved exponentially in the past year as a presence in the ring, since he lost his mask and truly became a monster, as he was supposed to be all along.
In nonwrestling news, I've begun to soften my view of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. There's more to great achievements than just the trappings of writing and specific storytelling ability. He gave us a grand vision. Sometimes that's all you can ask for. Good for him and his Academy Awards accolades.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
#67. Lord of the Rings
Yeah, so I ended that caption thing Monday evening, not long after I made that entry. Yup.
Back to wrestling news, then. The question of whether I want to be spoiled seemed to be a prescient concern here. With Prowrestling.com, I hear everything that's rumored, am soiled as to what will happen; generally every development that happens becomes less about the experience of it, the surprise, than the scripted story that it really is. We all know professional wrestling isn't real. Sure, the athleticism needed is real, but the match results, the feuds, they're all predetermined. Champions aren't champions because they're the best (although this is true of every winner; it's more chance than necessarily worthiness that awards such titles), but because they're crowd-pleasing, or the development suits what the writers have in mind. (David Arquette as WCW champion was definitely more about stunt, the current angle.) Powerwrestling.com used to do a lot of this, and regardless of the reasons why it no longer does, it serves my interests more now. The commentaries they manage are now mostly worthless, but they do have this "wrestler of the week" feature, and that's perhaps the best thing they've ever done, and unlike the wrestler rankings they tried some time ago, they've generally stuck with it. Sometimes they're massively hypocritical, but that's just life.
And to further embellish the Jackson of the Rings beef. I enjoyed Fellowship of the Ring. It's vastly superior to the hack work done in The Two Towers. Maybe this is because it made a semblance of a pass at characterization. Gandalf here not only has more to do, but Ian McKellan is allowed to do so much more. Is it the presence of Sean Bean as Boromir? Jackson has a complete story to tell there, and even though he botches the beginning of it in his efforts to minimize the council at Rivendell, he still must see it to the end. His embellishment of Boromir's demise is effective. But in the next film, Boromir's brother Faramir (the acting portraying whom looks nothing like Bean) is subject to another hack job, but there's nothing to this. Jackson has taken the approach that this film can't possibly be seen alone, therefore nothing really has to make sense since we're just passing through. Even in The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions there's a definite sense of where one story ends and the other begins. It's the old cliffhanger that does it. Jackson instead chooses an approach that on the surface is similar, suggesting in the end that Gollum is indeed leading Frodo and Sam into a trap, but he's used Gollum so much as a joke that this revelation doesn't have as much resonance. Bane is a mysterious individual whom the Matrix audiences have been given enough suggestions for as to what he's ultimately up to (no good), whereas Jackson has indulged himself in the computer effects of Gollum and the quasi-depth he has (the inner struggle) and how Frodo and Sam see different sides of him, but he portrays all this in such an ineffectual way that we never understand why Sam dislikes him other than he simply does and why Frodo cares for him other than he simply does. We are meant to believe that Frodo sympathizes with this creature, but this is more inference on the part of the audience than what's up there on the screen, and so the film itself comes of utterly lacking. And given that Jackson only goes with the minimal amount of suggestion in favor of his embellishing of a romance between Aragorn and Arwen (all the while ignoring other elements of Aragorn's character and development during the epic), we begin to see where his priorities lie. It's the look of it. Why do you think people were so awed by Gollum's appearance? Because the worth of these films is in the artistic achievement, exactly what Jackon's strength is. And I still have problems even with that. Gollum is not as impressive as he could be; he's another victim of Jackson's lack of refinement.
Must I go on? Well, not today.
Back to wrestling news, then. The question of whether I want to be spoiled seemed to be a prescient concern here. With Prowrestling.com, I hear everything that's rumored, am soiled as to what will happen; generally every development that happens becomes less about the experience of it, the surprise, than the scripted story that it really is. We all know professional wrestling isn't real. Sure, the athleticism needed is real, but the match results, the feuds, they're all predetermined. Champions aren't champions because they're the best (although this is true of every winner; it's more chance than necessarily worthiness that awards such titles), but because they're crowd-pleasing, or the development suits what the writers have in mind. (David Arquette as WCW champion was definitely more about stunt, the current angle.) Powerwrestling.com used to do a lot of this, and regardless of the reasons why it no longer does, it serves my interests more now. The commentaries they manage are now mostly worthless, but they do have this "wrestler of the week" feature, and that's perhaps the best thing they've ever done, and unlike the wrestler rankings they tried some time ago, they've generally stuck with it. Sometimes they're massively hypocritical, but that's just life.
And to further embellish the Jackson of the Rings beef. I enjoyed Fellowship of the Ring. It's vastly superior to the hack work done in The Two Towers. Maybe this is because it made a semblance of a pass at characterization. Gandalf here not only has more to do, but Ian McKellan is allowed to do so much more. Is it the presence of Sean Bean as Boromir? Jackson has a complete story to tell there, and even though he botches the beginning of it in his efforts to minimize the council at Rivendell, he still must see it to the end. His embellishment of Boromir's demise is effective. But in the next film, Boromir's brother Faramir (the acting portraying whom looks nothing like Bean) is subject to another hack job, but there's nothing to this. Jackson has taken the approach that this film can't possibly be seen alone, therefore nothing really has to make sense since we're just passing through. Even in The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions there's a definite sense of where one story ends and the other begins. It's the old cliffhanger that does it. Jackson instead chooses an approach that on the surface is similar, suggesting in the end that Gollum is indeed leading Frodo and Sam into a trap, but he's used Gollum so much as a joke that this revelation doesn't have as much resonance. Bane is a mysterious individual whom the Matrix audiences have been given enough suggestions for as to what he's ultimately up to (no good), whereas Jackson has indulged himself in the computer effects of Gollum and the quasi-depth he has (the inner struggle) and how Frodo and Sam see different sides of him, but he portrays all this in such an ineffectual way that we never understand why Sam dislikes him other than he simply does and why Frodo cares for him other than he simply does. We are meant to believe that Frodo sympathizes with this creature, but this is more inference on the part of the audience than what's up there on the screen, and so the film itself comes of utterly lacking. And given that Jackson only goes with the minimal amount of suggestion in favor of his embellishing of a romance between Aragorn and Arwen (all the while ignoring other elements of Aragorn's character and development during the epic), we begin to see where his priorities lie. It's the look of it. Why do you think people were so awed by Gollum's appearance? Because the worth of these films is in the artistic achievement, exactly what Jackon's strength is. And I still have problems even with that. Gollum is not as impressive as he could be; he's another victim of Jackson's lack of refinement.
Must I go on? Well, not today.
Monday, November 17, 2003
#66. Captioning, Music, Survivor Series, Lord of the Rings, Poetry
First, let's address captioning. I turned it on last night in an attempt to understand what the good folks at Univision were saying (Univision's motto: Spanish, the Language of Hot Babes), but that turned out to be a bust. I was also watching the American Music Awards (since Alias had been preempted by them), and got to watch Outkast perform their current hits. Now I know wha else they're singing besides 'Hey ya!' and 'I like the way you move!' Life is grand, right? Then this morning, captioning still on, I finally found out what Rob Thomas has been singing about in "Bright Lights," which is a current favorite of mine. So that was good; captioning proved useful! How long will I keep it on? I don't know, but I'll be sure to check back in with the answer.
Hillary Duff sang at the AMA's, and it became clear that she should probably not think about making a career of it. Sure, "So Yesterday" is a fine song, but let's keep it at that, shall we? Sean Paul also performed in segments I saw, and he was fine. Clay Aiken and Ruben Studderd (I know I've misspelled something there) should quit singing professionally. American Idol is only a force for evil! Toby Keith changed his look from the last time I saw him, stopped singing about angry Americans. The Smothers Brs. shoveled in some more dirt as they aligned themselves with Michael Moore. I don't care for Moore, but I do support the Dixie Chicks, so one of the brothers can stay. They were great in The Truman Show, at any rate.
Also last night was WWE's Survivor Series. Kane helped bury his "brother" Undertaker alive, which might lead to the latter returning to his old gimmick of living up (no pun intended) to his Dead Man nickname. Golberg was allowed to retain the RAW world title against Triple H and Steve Austin's team lost to Eric Bichoff's team, which means Stone Cold is forced to leave WWE television, or at least RAW.
I add that provision because I surfed the Internet this morning to scout reactions. Powerwrestling.com continues its four year slide to irrelevance (through sheer apathy and wrestling burnout, both with the sport and the visitors to the site) while Prowrestling.com provided me with a whole bunch of news, including the thought that Austin might actually return despite this setback, perhaps to Smackdown. I spent a good hour reading through their news items, until I started to come across items that were no longer news (to me). I was surprised at how much would have eben spoiled for me, and for how long some of these spoilers had been floating around. Kane's interference, for one, went far enough back to the point where it could easily have been Stephanie McMahon interfering on behalf of her father Vince, who she battled a month ago in a PPV match that cost her the general manager role of Smackdown. Who was going to win the Goldberg/Triple H match? That was up for grabs for a while, and Goldberg's next challenger has been in question as well. I found out that the role Batista filled in the month that has passed was originally slated to be Kevin Nash's until the surgery I had read about previously at Powerwrestling.com took him out of the picture. I was even able to find a news item about Zack Gowan that corroborated something that got someone ridiculed at Powerwrestling's forums for lack of evidence.
Such joy! The story goes on and on. Have I mentioned how creatively bankrupt I think Peter Jackson has been with his Lord of the Rings movies? Artistically I don't think many could approach him, but as far as the rest of the realization is concerned, he's far behind the pack, even with George Lucas included, and Lucas has a good handle on the artistic angle, too. You bet, I like the prequels, no doubt more than Jackson's Rings. It boils down to character. If you can't differentiate character, get out of town. This is why I don't find Joss Whedon so hot, or worship J. Michael Straczynski, or adore Stargate SG-1. Characters are all a joke, interchangeable (which is not to say it's the actors that are the problem). This is why I admire Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda, flaws and all; because its characters have character, personality, differentiality. They may be doing influential things, but there's more to them and their actions than the approach of a Babylon 5, which believes an epic is something that is riddled with complications but is incapable of portraying them in a realistic way; those characters are the kind that are caricatures because they have to be, because they are called upon to do everything, act more like icons than people. Big heads only get you so far, and allow you to do so many things.
So yeah, I'm into the "genre" stuff. I liked the Matrix trilogy. I like Star Trek (even the current stuff). I like odd things. Yes, I like wrestling. Some would automatically null my opinions because of that. Wrestling is lowbrow, right? I would counter that it's the highest and most pure form of showmanship we as a society have right now. Some of these guys are crazy enough to sacrifice their bodies for this "sports entertainment." Just read Mick Foley's story, as chronicled in his best-sellers Have A Nice Day! and (I can't remember what the other is at the moment, but it's subtitled and the real world is faker than wrestling).
I'm into poetry. You wouldn't believe how dense that community is. I say I'm into it, but I'm not "hep" to it; i know very little of it, both the historical stuff and the current scene. I wrote an essay about the current scene and how it is rather low-key, marginalized, and how this is giving it a misunderstood reputation. Sure, a lot of people enjoy being in the minority on a given subject. I pride myself on being one of the few people who still think Hideo Nomo is big news. But we're talking poetry here, something that used to unite people, an assumption classrooms and romantics still make. Why does it have to be so impenetrable? It's just another of those things that today rests within the realm of "interests," which means pockets of people clustered around certain things. We live in a world that is more aware of itself than ever before. The price? Everything becomes divied up, until you can't get a clear picture of what the whole looks like. I suppose that makes life fun, interesting.
It also makes the job of the Scouring Monk all that much more difficult. But he trudges on. There's plenty to keep him busy.
Hillary Duff sang at the AMA's, and it became clear that she should probably not think about making a career of it. Sure, "So Yesterday" is a fine song, but let's keep it at that, shall we? Sean Paul also performed in segments I saw, and he was fine. Clay Aiken and Ruben Studderd (I know I've misspelled something there) should quit singing professionally. American Idol is only a force for evil! Toby Keith changed his look from the last time I saw him, stopped singing about angry Americans. The Smothers Brs. shoveled in some more dirt as they aligned themselves with Michael Moore. I don't care for Moore, but I do support the Dixie Chicks, so one of the brothers can stay. They were great in The Truman Show, at any rate.
Also last night was WWE's Survivor Series. Kane helped bury his "brother" Undertaker alive, which might lead to the latter returning to his old gimmick of living up (no pun intended) to his Dead Man nickname. Golberg was allowed to retain the RAW world title against Triple H and Steve Austin's team lost to Eric Bichoff's team, which means Stone Cold is forced to leave WWE television, or at least RAW.
I add that provision because I surfed the Internet this morning to scout reactions. Powerwrestling.com continues its four year slide to irrelevance (through sheer apathy and wrestling burnout, both with the sport and the visitors to the site) while Prowrestling.com provided me with a whole bunch of news, including the thought that Austin might actually return despite this setback, perhaps to Smackdown. I spent a good hour reading through their news items, until I started to come across items that were no longer news (to me). I was surprised at how much would have eben spoiled for me, and for how long some of these spoilers had been floating around. Kane's interference, for one, went far enough back to the point where it could easily have been Stephanie McMahon interfering on behalf of her father Vince, who she battled a month ago in a PPV match that cost her the general manager role of Smackdown. Who was going to win the Goldberg/Triple H match? That was up for grabs for a while, and Goldberg's next challenger has been in question as well. I found out that the role Batista filled in the month that has passed was originally slated to be Kevin Nash's until the surgery I had read about previously at Powerwrestling.com took him out of the picture. I was even able to find a news item about Zack Gowan that corroborated something that got someone ridiculed at Powerwrestling's forums for lack of evidence.
Such joy! The story goes on and on. Have I mentioned how creatively bankrupt I think Peter Jackson has been with his Lord of the Rings movies? Artistically I don't think many could approach him, but as far as the rest of the realization is concerned, he's far behind the pack, even with George Lucas included, and Lucas has a good handle on the artistic angle, too. You bet, I like the prequels, no doubt more than Jackson's Rings. It boils down to character. If you can't differentiate character, get out of town. This is why I don't find Joss Whedon so hot, or worship J. Michael Straczynski, or adore Stargate SG-1. Characters are all a joke, interchangeable (which is not to say it's the actors that are the problem). This is why I admire Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda, flaws and all; because its characters have character, personality, differentiality. They may be doing influential things, but there's more to them and their actions than the approach of a Babylon 5, which believes an epic is something that is riddled with complications but is incapable of portraying them in a realistic way; those characters are the kind that are caricatures because they have to be, because they are called upon to do everything, act more like icons than people. Big heads only get you so far, and allow you to do so many things.
So yeah, I'm into the "genre" stuff. I liked the Matrix trilogy. I like Star Trek (even the current stuff). I like odd things. Yes, I like wrestling. Some would automatically null my opinions because of that. Wrestling is lowbrow, right? I would counter that it's the highest and most pure form of showmanship we as a society have right now. Some of these guys are crazy enough to sacrifice their bodies for this "sports entertainment." Just read Mick Foley's story, as chronicled in his best-sellers Have A Nice Day! and (I can't remember what the other is at the moment, but it's subtitled and the real world is faker than wrestling).
I'm into poetry. You wouldn't believe how dense that community is. I say I'm into it, but I'm not "hep" to it; i know very little of it, both the historical stuff and the current scene. I wrote an essay about the current scene and how it is rather low-key, marginalized, and how this is giving it a misunderstood reputation. Sure, a lot of people enjoy being in the minority on a given subject. I pride myself on being one of the few people who still think Hideo Nomo is big news. But we're talking poetry here, something that used to unite people, an assumption classrooms and romantics still make. Why does it have to be so impenetrable? It's just another of those things that today rests within the realm of "interests," which means pockets of people clustered around certain things. We live in a world that is more aware of itself than ever before. The price? Everything becomes divied up, until you can't get a clear picture of what the whole looks like. I suppose that makes life fun, interesting.
It also makes the job of the Scouring Monk all that much more difficult. But he trudges on. There's plenty to keep him busy.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
#65. Josh Beckett, Florida Marlins, World Series Champions
It was all thanks to Josh Beckett.
The Florida Marlins won the World Series last night, the franchise's second title in its short existence. Was it thanks to Pudge Rodrigez? Or Dontrelle Willis? Nope. Was it thanks to Steve Bartman? Nope. Beckett, baby.
And the aces were supposed to have been Roger Clemens, or Pedro Martinez. The Yankees didn't make it to the World Series because of the Rocket, however. Or because of Aaron Boone's miracle mash. You can thank Jason Giambi, who otherwise is out of place in this Bombers incarnation. His two home runs did more to end the Red Sox dream than anything else. What did he do at the World Series?
To tell you the truth, I have no idea. I didn't watch much of any of the six games, mostly due to the fact that FOX comes in sporadically on my TV (and thusly I will be watching the station on another one when 24 soon returns). But Beckett was the man. No doubt about it. He was a secret weapon in the play-offs. Now we'll see what he can do for the Marlins next season, when he's been exposed as the phenomenon he is.
Hats off to him and the Florida organization. Now let's see someone new muster repeat titles. The Yankees are clearly through.
The Florida Marlins won the World Series last night, the franchise's second title in its short existence. Was it thanks to Pudge Rodrigez? Or Dontrelle Willis? Nope. Was it thanks to Steve Bartman? Nope. Beckett, baby.
And the aces were supposed to have been Roger Clemens, or Pedro Martinez. The Yankees didn't make it to the World Series because of the Rocket, however. Or because of Aaron Boone's miracle mash. You can thank Jason Giambi, who otherwise is out of place in this Bombers incarnation. His two home runs did more to end the Red Sox dream than anything else. What did he do at the World Series?
To tell you the truth, I have no idea. I didn't watch much of any of the six games, mostly due to the fact that FOX comes in sporadically on my TV (and thusly I will be watching the station on another one when 24 soon returns). But Beckett was the man. No doubt about it. He was a secret weapon in the play-offs. Now we'll see what he can do for the Marlins next season, when he's been exposed as the phenomenon he is.
Hats off to him and the Florida organization. Now let's see someone new muster repeat titles. The Yankees are clearly through.
Thursday, October 09, 2003
#64. Mark Henry, Goldberg
Okay, so Mark Henry, of all people, has given Goldberg a run for his money. Henry is an Olympics weightlifter who made a splash in 1996, drew the attention of the WWE (then still known as the WWF), and was eventually drafted into the roster. He went nowhere, and he went there for the duration of every stay he had in the company. Some of the gimmicks they cooked up for the guy were downright embarrassing. He was always referred to as "The World's Strongest Man," and there often token attempts to capitalize on that, though never substantially as far as his actual ring work was concerned. Wrestling pundits attributed this career limbo to the fact that the guy wasn't really much of a wrestler, to which I counter such a problem has failed to hold back many other famous grapplers. It might also be said that his problem was his lack of charisma, and that would not be unjustifiable. If Mark Henry was known as "The World's Strongest Man," that's all he was known as, other than a company baffoon.
But this past Monday, he wrestled world champion Goldberg and gave "Da Man" a run for his money (and Triple H's money, but that's a matter of storyline), signifying the first time Henry has been taken seriously as a competitor in WWE. To this I say, not all that surprising. When the Smackdown! brand wanted to give champion Brock Lesnar a monster of a challenge, they turned to the Big Show, a behemoth who had never before been in a position to truly be taken seriously in the company. Lesnar was a dominant superstar, so they needed a guy who could physically appear dominating. The rest would be a matter of playing out a realistic challenge in the ring.
Goldberg has always been portrayed as a dominating superstar, and as much as it made him a star in his early WCW days, it became detrimental as he became a regular feature. He was no longer exciting to watch because he had become a predictable element. Henry's recent elevation reveals that WWE realizes this. There are no other big men available in the RAW roster to act in this role, so Henry assumed it as a matter of convenience. It's really a win-win situation. If it works, that is.
But this past Monday, he wrestled world champion Goldberg and gave "Da Man" a run for his money (and Triple H's money, but that's a matter of storyline), signifying the first time Henry has been taken seriously as a competitor in WWE. To this I say, not all that surprising. When the Smackdown! brand wanted to give champion Brock Lesnar a monster of a challenge, they turned to the Big Show, a behemoth who had never before been in a position to truly be taken seriously in the company. Lesnar was a dominant superstar, so they needed a guy who could physically appear dominating. The rest would be a matter of playing out a realistic challenge in the ring.
Goldberg has always been portrayed as a dominating superstar, and as much as it made him a star in his early WCW days, it became detrimental as he became a regular feature. He was no longer exciting to watch because he had become a predictable element. Henry's recent elevation reveals that WWE realizes this. There are no other big men available in the RAW roster to act in this role, so Henry assumed it as a matter of convenience. It's really a win-win situation. If it works, that is.
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
#63. Big Brother, White Stripes
Hey ho. Just checking in. Back a few weeks ago, Jun won Big Brother, which I'm more than pleased about, given that she only had to defeat Alison, who is the worst kind of schemer imagineable, the unconscienable.
But enough about TV matters. And strangely, that's all I was interested in taalking about. Ah, well. A grassroots literature magazine recently started in my community beckons, and perhaps I'll have something to say about that. Just not now. Now I call it an entry and bid adieu to the phantom reader.
Hey, here's an extender. I recently saw the video for the White Stripes' new single, "The Hardest Button to Button," and it's as imaginative as the rest of the output from this duo. Kudos to the super band that isn't yet truly accepted into the public eye. I can't imagine with all this talent that they will be denied it for much longer.
But enough about TV matters. And strangely, that's all I was interested in taalking about. Ah, well. A grassroots literature magazine recently started in my community beckons, and perhaps I'll have something to say about that. Just not now. Now I call it an entry and bid adieu to the phantom reader.
Hey, here's an extender. I recently saw the video for the White Stripes' new single, "The Hardest Button to Button," and it's as imaginative as the rest of the output from this duo. Kudos to the super band that isn't yet truly accepted into the public eye. I can't imagine with all this talent that they will be denied it for much longer.
Monday, September 22, 2003
#62. Goldberg, PWI 500, Emmy, White Stripes, Coldplay
Well, it happened. Goldberg defeated Triple H! The reign is over! Long live Goldberg!
The PWI 500 ranking, getting back to that, is drawn from a period that ends in August, so the listing and number one wrestler strays somewhat from the calender year. Brock Lesnar might have been higher up on the previous 500 had last year's Summer Slam been included, given that he won his first WWE championship in a match against The Rock then. Instead he got 17th. This time around he was No. 1! Triple H was No. 2, by the way, and Goldberg's showing was No. 39. Chances are good that it'll be different for those two come next 500, which is more or less a year away now. PWI doesn't have a website, surprisingly, so the only way to find out who made the 500 and were they landed is to pick up the magazine, which was frustrating the years I wasn't able to get my hands on it. This year, however, the editors have compiled a chart of everyone who has ever appeared in the 500 (dating back to 1991, I guess when wrestling had gained enough mainstream momentum thanks to guys like Hulk Hogan), including where they were ranked, if they were ranked.
Tired of me yappin' about wrestling? There was the Emmy's last night in addition to Unforgiven, and the highlight there for me was Conan O'Brien's spot. He was hilarious, the funniest of the dozen hosts. I might be partial. Who knows? The Shadow?
Updating a bit from a few months ago. I did pick up The White Stripes' White Blood Cells and Elephant, both albums I immediately fell in love with. Those two are amazing, an incredible find. Now if I can only find them on the radio, or even MTV or VH-1. Speaking of music videos, Coldplay is a rare breed. "The Scientist" video is a marvel, just a wonder, and I came across "God Put A Smile Upon Your Face" and that was good too. The whole album A Rush of Blood to the Head is fantastic, a worthy follow-up to Parachutes. I've recived word that the band will be taking time off to develope a new sound. Hope that works out well for 'em.
I might have had a thing or two more to say, but I'll hang up the line now.
The PWI 500 ranking, getting back to that, is drawn from a period that ends in August, so the listing and number one wrestler strays somewhat from the calender year. Brock Lesnar might have been higher up on the previous 500 had last year's Summer Slam been included, given that he won his first WWE championship in a match against The Rock then. Instead he got 17th. This time around he was No. 1! Triple H was No. 2, by the way, and Goldberg's showing was No. 39. Chances are good that it'll be different for those two come next 500, which is more or less a year away now. PWI doesn't have a website, surprisingly, so the only way to find out who made the 500 and were they landed is to pick up the magazine, which was frustrating the years I wasn't able to get my hands on it. This year, however, the editors have compiled a chart of everyone who has ever appeared in the 500 (dating back to 1991, I guess when wrestling had gained enough mainstream momentum thanks to guys like Hulk Hogan), including where they were ranked, if they were ranked.
Tired of me yappin' about wrestling? There was the Emmy's last night in addition to Unforgiven, and the highlight there for me was Conan O'Brien's spot. He was hilarious, the funniest of the dozen hosts. I might be partial. Who knows? The Shadow?
Updating a bit from a few months ago. I did pick up The White Stripes' White Blood Cells and Elephant, both albums I immediately fell in love with. Those two are amazing, an incredible find. Now if I can only find them on the radio, or even MTV or VH-1. Speaking of music videos, Coldplay is a rare breed. "The Scientist" video is a marvel, just a wonder, and I came across "God Put A Smile Upon Your Face" and that was good too. The whole album A Rush of Blood to the Head is fantastic, a worthy follow-up to Parachutes. I've recived word that the band will be taking time off to develope a new sound. Hope that works out well for 'em.
I might have had a thing or two more to say, but I'll hang up the line now.
Friday, September 19, 2003
#61. First Wrestling Post, Road Rules, Dead Celebrities, Neil Gaiman, Geoff Johns
Holy cow! It's been a while, hasn't it? Why, I probably lost all of my faithful readers!
...Oh, right. I don't, or probably don't, have any. All the same, I'm here once again!
Brock Lesner is once again the WWE champion, having beating Kurt Angle by crook last night on Smackdown! in a grueling hour-long Ironman Match. This caps a year in which he made the top slot in the annual PWI 500 list, or more accurately, ensures that he'll have a decent ranking next year as well. The PWI (or Pro Wrestling Illustrated, a monthly magazine) 500 just came out. I was surprised when I saw it at the grocery store, not having previously picked it up as soon as it came out. Usually I get it in October or December, but this year I guess I was just quicker on the ball. Anyhoo, whatever the case I picked it up a week or so ago. Lesner has turned heel, and that's how he's likely to spend this reign, however long it is. RAW will have their PPV (Unforgiven) this Sunday and that leaves Smackdown! with a month to go before its next event. That's why such a pretigious match and occurence happened on network television.
And I missed it! Yup, my local UPN went packing and I didn't get to watch the action. Sucks, sure, but I've missed more important matches than I can count on my eight fingers and two thumbs. I miss a lot of things, but oh well. I still found out what happened. If I was going to be sour about anything, I'd be sour and sore about missing "Bret screwing Bret" at Survivor Series '97, Ultimate Warrior defeating Hogan, Ricky Steamboat defeating Randy Savage, heck even Razor Ramon defeating Shawn Michaels in that epic ladder match. Yadda yadda yadda.
So Lesner is champion again. He might be The Next Big Thing, but he's not going down the same road as Goldberg. Speaking of Goldberg, that bloak is finally going to climb back up the beanstalk at Unforgiven. It's been quite some time, but he'll beat Triple H (who everyone hates because he's actually had the world strap longer than four months or so, god forbid someone put up a sizable title reign, right?) and be "Da Man" and "Da Champ" once again. It's a darn inevitability.
People like to take away the credit Goldberg should be given, some by even comparing him to the one note wonder known as Hulk Hogan. Well, Goldberg ain't Hogan. Goldberg has presence, he's not just a cartoon. When he needs to, he lets loose real skills. The real reason some people can't stand him? They're holding a grudge against him for knockin' Bret Hart's noggin and sending him into retirement. If you held grudges for every mistake, every injury one wrestler does to another wrestler, you'd have to hold a grudge against Bret's deceased brother, Owen Hart, who is the reason Steve Austin has had all those neck problems. But you won't hear anyone seriously badmouthing Owen. He's dead and he earned lasting respect by, um, dying. (Before his fatal plummet, you wouldn't have heard anything much about him aside from his endless professionalism, and that don't get you far. Just look at Chris Benoit.)
Switching gears slightly, I happened to catch the end of MTV's Road Rules, South Seas. When they were airing those endless reruns of the season, I happened to catch a little altercation between castmates Abe and Donell. Abe is an example of the worst kind of fraternity brother, the guy who will go out and do any number of crazy things for his brothers (I suspect he got those scar tattoos from his frat house days). He's the type of guy who just doesn't seem too bright. ("I don't think interracial dating is wrong, I just think it's something that shouldn't be done," goes the double-speak bull he actually wins Christena over with.) So clown Donell, who is the type of guy who will get under anyone with thin skin's nerves, gets Abe upset, and Abe plays the race card. This leads to Donell getting serious, and Abe downright bonkers, playing the camera mug first by throwing a very theatrical "f-you" and then throwing fists. Donell might have provoked it, but he didn't deserve it, and the whole situation presents him as the bigger man.
Imagine my not-quite surprise when I go on the Internet and find people supporting Abe and absolutely belittling Donell. Well, it's such an obvious situation, but I'll spell it out to you anyway. No one who wrote in regarding the show and these people and that confrontation was going to react any differently. Abe is this blond frat boy who most of the audience is going to relate to, regardless of what he says or does. Donell is this overweight verbal jabber who picks on Abe because, as Donell puts it himself, "an easy target." Anyone who looks at Abe objectively would see that. Audience finds Donell annoying and he's fat, so clearly they're going to side with the good lookin' dude Who Was Clearly The Victim. Cha! Cha right!
People! The other thing that bugged me took place in the final episode, when the gang is completing the final mission. I don't know everyone's name, but the guy who was paired with Tina, once they had made it across the bridge, turned out to be the second person I ended up not much caring for on the show when he celebrated by trying to act as if Tina needed him to congratulate her for actually making it across. For one, they both made it across, y'know, together. Second, he was darn condescending, no matter how much he might have thought it made him look so nice to her. Third, had she not made it across, neither would he, and vice versa, so there was no point in trying to pretend either one was responsible, or either one deserved such overenthusiastic and fake applause from their teammate. Fourth, they only followed what the team before them did. Fifth, darn if he just didn't come off as an idiot. Ah well.
In nontelevision thoughts, I hate computer viruses! But then, nobody really does, so on to something else. This has been an especially lousy year to be a celebrity. Hepburn, Hope, Hines, White, Zevon, Cash, Ritter, and a bunchmore I can't recall at the moment. Affleck, who not only makes Gigli with J-Lo, but breaks up with her, too, and just before the marriage. I can't stand the guy anyway. Lopez deserves way better. Her unending search for a mate continues! Hey, that could make a great movie role for her! Oh, but Runaway Bride has already been made, and that's sort of similar, ain't it?
I recently got Thomas Friedman's Longitudes and Attitudes as well as Life of Pi, two books that happened to look interesting. Man, I've got a backlog of books to read that just keeps growing. It's insane! If I went through the list of the books I've bought and will "be getting around to" you'd get a good laugh. Really! It's ridiculous.
If this is good enough for "Hurricane" Helms, it's good enough for me. I'm into comic books, and I'm not ashamed. Neil Gaiman has just come out with a new Sandman book, and USA Today did a feature on it. That was great to see. His novel American Gods was excellent. Geoff Johns recently made me believe that there was life for The Flash after Mark Waid. The 200th issue of the comic featured a twist ending that was one of the most incredible ones I've ever read. Mind you, it's also the first issue, the first comic I've picked up in more than a few months. I was a huge comics fan and reader several years ago, but gave it up cold turkey and now only pick up the occassion issue. That issue has me on the verge of breaking me back in, if only to continue Johns' run.
You wouldn't believe how unpopular small-name poetry is. Okay, maybe you would. I've run across several more-than-bargain-priced collections at my college bookstore, and that's been one reason (a recent one) my soon-to-be reading list has expanded so much. I nearly picked up a bunch more today, but I showed some restraint. It was a hell of a battle squeazing those books back in the wrong place, but in this instance of not putting something back where I found it, I can be excused, since the shelves on the sale section are pretty random as they are.
Anyway, small time poetry is not big. Heck, big time poetry is not really big. And yes, this post is quite long. I'll end it now.
...Oh, right. I don't, or probably don't, have any. All the same, I'm here once again!
Brock Lesner is once again the WWE champion, having beating Kurt Angle by crook last night on Smackdown! in a grueling hour-long Ironman Match. This caps a year in which he made the top slot in the annual PWI 500 list, or more accurately, ensures that he'll have a decent ranking next year as well. The PWI (or Pro Wrestling Illustrated, a monthly magazine) 500 just came out. I was surprised when I saw it at the grocery store, not having previously picked it up as soon as it came out. Usually I get it in October or December, but this year I guess I was just quicker on the ball. Anyhoo, whatever the case I picked it up a week or so ago. Lesner has turned heel, and that's how he's likely to spend this reign, however long it is. RAW will have their PPV (Unforgiven) this Sunday and that leaves Smackdown! with a month to go before its next event. That's why such a pretigious match and occurence happened on network television.
And I missed it! Yup, my local UPN went packing and I didn't get to watch the action. Sucks, sure, but I've missed more important matches than I can count on my eight fingers and two thumbs. I miss a lot of things, but oh well. I still found out what happened. If I was going to be sour about anything, I'd be sour and sore about missing "Bret screwing Bret" at Survivor Series '97, Ultimate Warrior defeating Hogan, Ricky Steamboat defeating Randy Savage, heck even Razor Ramon defeating Shawn Michaels in that epic ladder match. Yadda yadda yadda.
So Lesner is champion again. He might be The Next Big Thing, but he's not going down the same road as Goldberg. Speaking of Goldberg, that bloak is finally going to climb back up the beanstalk at Unforgiven. It's been quite some time, but he'll beat Triple H (who everyone hates because he's actually had the world strap longer than four months or so, god forbid someone put up a sizable title reign, right?) and be "Da Man" and "Da Champ" once again. It's a darn inevitability.
People like to take away the credit Goldberg should be given, some by even comparing him to the one note wonder known as Hulk Hogan. Well, Goldberg ain't Hogan. Goldberg has presence, he's not just a cartoon. When he needs to, he lets loose real skills. The real reason some people can't stand him? They're holding a grudge against him for knockin' Bret Hart's noggin and sending him into retirement. If you held grudges for every mistake, every injury one wrestler does to another wrestler, you'd have to hold a grudge against Bret's deceased brother, Owen Hart, who is the reason Steve Austin has had all those neck problems. But you won't hear anyone seriously badmouthing Owen. He's dead and he earned lasting respect by, um, dying. (Before his fatal plummet, you wouldn't have heard anything much about him aside from his endless professionalism, and that don't get you far. Just look at Chris Benoit.)
Switching gears slightly, I happened to catch the end of MTV's Road Rules, South Seas. When they were airing those endless reruns of the season, I happened to catch a little altercation between castmates Abe and Donell. Abe is an example of the worst kind of fraternity brother, the guy who will go out and do any number of crazy things for his brothers (I suspect he got those scar tattoos from his frat house days). He's the type of guy who just doesn't seem too bright. ("I don't think interracial dating is wrong, I just think it's something that shouldn't be done," goes the double-speak bull he actually wins Christena over with.) So clown Donell, who is the type of guy who will get under anyone with thin skin's nerves, gets Abe upset, and Abe plays the race card. This leads to Donell getting serious, and Abe downright bonkers, playing the camera mug first by throwing a very theatrical "f-you" and then throwing fists. Donell might have provoked it, but he didn't deserve it, and the whole situation presents him as the bigger man.
Imagine my not-quite surprise when I go on the Internet and find people supporting Abe and absolutely belittling Donell. Well, it's such an obvious situation, but I'll spell it out to you anyway. No one who wrote in regarding the show and these people and that confrontation was going to react any differently. Abe is this blond frat boy who most of the audience is going to relate to, regardless of what he says or does. Donell is this overweight verbal jabber who picks on Abe because, as Donell puts it himself, "an easy target." Anyone who looks at Abe objectively would see that. Audience finds Donell annoying and he's fat, so clearly they're going to side with the good lookin' dude Who Was Clearly The Victim. Cha! Cha right!
People! The other thing that bugged me took place in the final episode, when the gang is completing the final mission. I don't know everyone's name, but the guy who was paired with Tina, once they had made it across the bridge, turned out to be the second person I ended up not much caring for on the show when he celebrated by trying to act as if Tina needed him to congratulate her for actually making it across. For one, they both made it across, y'know, together. Second, he was darn condescending, no matter how much he might have thought it made him look so nice to her. Third, had she not made it across, neither would he, and vice versa, so there was no point in trying to pretend either one was responsible, or either one deserved such overenthusiastic and fake applause from their teammate. Fourth, they only followed what the team before them did. Fifth, darn if he just didn't come off as an idiot. Ah well.
In nontelevision thoughts, I hate computer viruses! But then, nobody really does, so on to something else. This has been an especially lousy year to be a celebrity. Hepburn, Hope, Hines, White, Zevon, Cash, Ritter, and a bunchmore I can't recall at the moment. Affleck, who not only makes Gigli with J-Lo, but breaks up with her, too, and just before the marriage. I can't stand the guy anyway. Lopez deserves way better. Her unending search for a mate continues! Hey, that could make a great movie role for her! Oh, but Runaway Bride has already been made, and that's sort of similar, ain't it?
I recently got Thomas Friedman's Longitudes and Attitudes as well as Life of Pi, two books that happened to look interesting. Man, I've got a backlog of books to read that just keeps growing. It's insane! If I went through the list of the books I've bought and will "be getting around to" you'd get a good laugh. Really! It's ridiculous.
If this is good enough for "Hurricane" Helms, it's good enough for me. I'm into comic books, and I'm not ashamed. Neil Gaiman has just come out with a new Sandman book, and USA Today did a feature on it. That was great to see. His novel American Gods was excellent. Geoff Johns recently made me believe that there was life for The Flash after Mark Waid. The 200th issue of the comic featured a twist ending that was one of the most incredible ones I've ever read. Mind you, it's also the first issue, the first comic I've picked up in more than a few months. I was a huge comics fan and reader several years ago, but gave it up cold turkey and now only pick up the occassion issue. That issue has me on the verge of breaking me back in, if only to continue Johns' run.
You wouldn't believe how unpopular small-name poetry is. Okay, maybe you would. I've run across several more-than-bargain-priced collections at my college bookstore, and that's been one reason (a recent one) my soon-to-be reading list has expanded so much. I nearly picked up a bunch more today, but I showed some restraint. It was a hell of a battle squeazing those books back in the wrong place, but in this instance of not putting something back where I found it, I can be excused, since the shelves on the sale section are pretty random as they are.
Anyway, small time poetry is not big. Heck, big time poetry is not really big. And yes, this post is quite long. I'll end it now.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
#60. Magnetic Poetry
I've got one paper to write, and then I'm effectively free from this latest and second-to-last semester of college. On to other, possibly more interesting things. You know what's pretty evil? Magnetic poetry. Not only does it have the potential to produce obcenely absurb poetry, but the letters, words, and suffixes and prefixes are bitches to break up, stick on a board, take off a board (if you put a lot of them on at a time), and generally use. I think there're too many tiles included per box. I'm talking the official Magnetic Poetry here, the stuff that generally comes in those little boxes. Do they realize how much they're cramming in those? Those tiles are small, and thus they can include a lot of them, and trust me, there's a lot there! Okay, that's enough rambling...
Friday, May 09, 2003
#59. Editing
As these things are sometimes wont to, the editing of The Impressionist, License Plate 8310 LA, Dirty Animals, and Bizarro Lives actually turned out well (at least in my opinion). These titles have very little meaning if you can't actually read the short stories, but people prattle on about personal things in these blogs, right? That's what I'm doing, darn it! Okay, that's it.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
#58. U2, Editing
Still haven't found out if I was horribly mistaken about the official set of U2 albums. Feeling good about that.
I'm going to have to edit those stories I've mentioned here, and that's a great pain. What to edit? What to edit? Whose opinion to rely on? What to take from the opinions? I loathe the editing process.
I'm going to have to edit those stories I've mentioned here, and that's a great pain. What to edit? What to edit? Whose opinion to rely on? What to take from the opinions? I loathe the editing process.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
