So I've been watching some of American Idol this season...While the show is truly representative of the whole pop music scene, the reason I watch is Simon Cowell. The only problem I have with him is his Sudden Head Jerking. This SHJ thing, which would at first seem like his way of saying "that was so bad it put me to sleep and I've just be nudged awake by Paula," but he does it all the time. Love him for his forthrightness, but the SHJ has got to go.
So anyhoo, WrestleMania XX has been released, and I picked up a copy today. The trivia game on the third disk is a hoot, because after each guess you get a video response from a WWE superstar. So far I've hit on Victoria, Kurt Angle, all three Dudleys, Rhyno (I'm pretty sure, or it could be the General dude from a few Survivor seasons ago), Y2J, Coach, Al Snow, and Mick Foley. Only problem is, you aren't given the correct answer, and given that some of the responses the repeating vid bits give are a bit ambiguous about whether you've got the answer right or not. Rhyno (?) says something about having to explaining it with crayons, and I think I've gotten to the point where I can say he means you've gotten the right answer (which means his contribution translates to the answer being bizarre but true). Did I say I hit on Victoria? Huh huh. But then that also means...
I've been meaning to comment about this, but Rey Myserio continued his WrestleMania super hero fashion show he began last year with Daredevil duds (as that film was, except for Colin Farrell and Jennifer Garner) by following it up with Flash-themed ring apparel in the cruiserweight open. Did I mention I'm a big Flash fan? He and Green Lantern are, in my humble opinion, the two greatest comic book concepts around, insofar as they've been consistently worth reading for decades. Only the X-Men would really rival them, but those mutants have grown so irrelevant to what made them great more than a decade ago that they survive, to my mind, more on reputation now than their actual books. Or they have untit recently, however. Maybe it's the films that have led to their rejuvenation. But when will they get back to the story that matters, the reason they're supposed to be the greatest concept in comics? Let's just say that it's hard to consider their story worth reading when it's so often bogged down by mindless shock in place of the concept that should be explored in its place. Mutants! The films put the money on the table. Now pick it up!
Make sense of that? Anyhoo, back to WM. The March 14, 2004, evening festivities kicked off on a classy note, the Harlem Boys Choir (reminding me of an Elijah Wood SNL skit) singing "America the Beautiful), and then John Cena hit. The ending was a bit of a cheat, but he was facing a mostly immovable object, the Big Show (mostly immovable to himself as well), so all's forgiven. Plus, he's the Doctor of Thuganomics! Word!
Then there was the Raw fatal fourway tag team title bout. RVD looked quite good on that night, quite good. I'll give him that. But that also doesn't say as much as it seems, since he wasn't carrying anything. To hit one's spots, anyone can do that expertly. Hulk Hogan made a very good living doing just that. It's the rest of the match he needs to work on. Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak looked very generic. Maybe they'll eventually make something of themselves, maybe they won't. La Resistance, Rene Dupree and Rob Conway in this instance, worked pretty well. The Dudleys, Bubba Ray and D'Von, were fine, with the little they did (the missed 3D was their biggest spot that I can remember). The match belonged to Booker T and Rob Van Dam. Obviously! But it was better than I'd been led to believe. Next!
Jericho/Christian was a definite highlight. Plus there was Trish. As it turns out, Trish made her move to turn on Y2J only after accidently costing him the match. I was going to put quotations around accidently, but the spot looked like it could have been an accident, as these "accidents" go. I was struck, however, at how much Christian looked like a Cade or a Jindrak, with his short haircut. Skills-wise, they have nothing on him, but he does end up looking pretty generic. Well, let's hope a Matt Hardy doesn't befall him once this feud with Chris Jericho is over. Tyson Tomko, when I got a look at him finally, is probably not Chuck Palumbo. But this Mordecai who will be at Judgment Day...I'll be damned if it isn't Sean O'Haire, but Mr. Sean O'Haire has been let go. Oh well...Next!
The Rock 'n' Sock/Evolution match, or should I say slobberknocker, was a letdown, insofar as Randy Orton/Mick Foley was concerned. Orton saw the least action of himself, Ric Flair, and Batista! Batista gave more powerbombs than Orton saw ringtime! All Orton really got to do was pin Foley. The match really belonged to Flair and The Rock, who had a good time mocking each other's signature moves. I read I think in one of the Amazon.com reviews of WM XX that the two ought to have a match one-on-one based on their chemistry that night. Maybe they've fought before, and maybe this really was Rock's single match this whole year (though if he wants to make a movie career he'll have to make a few movies that actually matter), but I agree. What little good that'll do...
Sable/Torrie vs. Stacy/Jackie...Short, pointless T & A affair, and poor Jerry Lawler didn't get to call it! Anyhoo, I supposed there was enough of an excuse for it...
The cruiserweight open was exceptional. But I can't help but wonder if the distinct lack of cruiserweight action since then (aside from Chavo Guerrero) has anything to do with the ingratitude of the fans (at least in my experience) for what they were given here. Ultimo Dragon was given due respect, and Jamie Noble had a fine capper for a solid run in recent months. Rey of course was his usual self, crowd-pleasing as always. Tajiri hit the tarantula, Billy Kidman wasted more time using up someone else's spot (WCW actaully had it right when they tried to push him, finally, beyond cruiserweight action; unfortunately they tried to do it against Hulk Hogan and his biggest moment of egotism, and nothing followed except a one-night run as cruiswerweight tag team champion on WCW's final show, I believe with Mysterio). Chavo picked up the obligatory win, since the cruiserweights really deserve a whole show to themselves. Maybe that's Kidman's problem, and why the complaint about this match was that it wasn't long enough. I thought it was plenty long for the amount of wrestlers crammed into it. They had a chance to shine. To truly shine, they'd need, like a said, a whole show to themselves...
Which brings us to Goldberg/Lesnar. They stood around for a very long time. The encounter was more about two irrestible forces than a wrestling encounter. Why was the match buried in the card like it was? Clearly it had been meant to be something more than it turned out to be. Undertaker/Kane could easily have been put here and vice versa, and the night would probably have been better for it. But as it was...the "smart marks" decided to reward this encounter with the worst kind of brattiness this side of the Canadian sharpshooting fiasco. The end seemed extremely truncated to me, as if there easily could have been more to the match, but wasn't because the audience enthusiasm just wasn't there. So the restraint on the part of the two competitors turned into resignation. Even Steve Austin couldn't save this affair, and didn't try to until the end. There haven't been two such underappreciated wrestlers in all wrestling history, as far as the fans are concerned. Goldberg was a certified phenomenon, until WCW bungled him, he took a break, and tried to ensure WWE would treat him better. Lesnar came around just when he was needed, but the fans turned him into the next Goldberg, later era, regardless. Just like Triple H and his year-long reign, the fans decided that any new dominant star wasn't worth their respect. So they ended up getting exactly what they wanted on this night. A lackluster, fond farewell. I hope both will be back, and prove to everyone they were wrong. It's what Chris Benoit did...
Disc 1 ends with Smackdown's tag team fatal fourway. As I intimated at the time, the participants were of slightly higher pedigree in this version of the tag team tango. TWGG, which didn't see enough action in this match, and the Bashams (ditto) were better established than La Resistance and Cade & Jindrak as tag teams. The APA were there as a final show of respect for their years of duty. Bradshaw, meanwhile, has clung to his black tights, unfortunately, in the sense that he didn't change his style and because he's getting a push, for all things, the WWE title. Mic-wise he's got the goods. Skill-wise, not so much. Unfortunately. Champions Scotty and Rikishi put on a good show, if not proving their specific worth to be champions. Still, it was good their years of hard work were appreciated in this fashion. Hopefully Scotty can move on to greater things, and Rikishi can spare us any more butt shots...
Unfortunately, I haven't yet watched Disc 2, which presumably has that night's best matches in store for me. I'll get back to this when I've made the rounds...
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